Automatic 25% off!!

For the Scent of the Month, which is Christmas Wreath, get an automatic 25% off, No coupon code required. And Remember that half of my 30% commission will go to Toys For Tots foundation to help give a child in need something for Christmas! So give a gift to someone you love, and smile knowing you helped a child have a great Christmas.

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents/p/125:c:100/scent-of-the-month/new-christmas-wreath/

Give the Gift of Giving Back!!!

This is the season to give. So it has inspired me to give back to my community. So half of my 30% commission per sale will go directly towards Toys for Tots until Christmas is over. Then I will be donating to Joyful Heart Foundation, (because of my personal background) as well as the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, and Make a Wish Foundation. I'm sure you all know what the last two foundations are, but the Joyful Heart Foundation is for victims of abuse, whether it's physical, mental, emotional, sexual, rape, or economical (and yes there is a such thing as economical abuse). I want to give people hope. I want to help people in need, not just around the Holiday times but all the time. I hope that there is enough good in people to join me and help me give back to those that need it more then we do! You'll get a great product, plus a sense of peace that comes with knowing that every purchase you make will help someone in need. So don't wait. Make a purchase now and help someone who really needs it.


https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents

Why do you need to be in a "Giving Mood" to give back?

As I've stated in previous posts, I will be donating half of my commission (which is 30%) for each purchase, to the Toys for Tots foundation. That will be for this holiday season. And for some reason this still isn't inspiring people to help give a child a better Christmas! I guess maybe some people are too, cynical, or maybe they don't believe in the good in humanity anymore. This saddens me greatly. Because I am one of those genuine people who says what I mean, and means what I say. I don't bullshit people, I don't tell story's, and I don't tolerate bullshit. Apparently this is why I have so few friends! Which is actually fine by me because I prefer Quality friends, over a quantity of friends! Simply put, I want real, not fake. I respect others as I would want to be respected. And after all the crap I've been through in my life, from being molested as a baby, before I could even walk, by my birth parents, to being thrown in foster care, to being adopted, and beaten and then molested and raped by my adopted parents, to being thrown back into foster care, then having an ex try to sell me to some random guy on the street for money, to being beaten by an ex, having children young, and then most recently being attacked in my own vehicle by a man bent on hurting me or my children to get money, I'm still here people! I'm still standing strong, looking for the good in people. Hoping that I'm not the only one left. Through all this crap I've been through, I've never thought about suicide, or taking drugs, or any bullshit like that! I've earned a degree in Paralegal Studies, and one in Business Administration, and gained a lot of knowledge, as well as student loans, and still I'm here trying to do good in this world. But I'm finding that the good in people is hidden so deep they don't know how to bring it out anymore. They've been cynical, and doubtful so long, that they have forgotten how to believe in the good in others, they've forgotten how to look at someone without judging them by the clothes they wear, or what kind of car they drive. They see skin color as a barrier, instead of seeing a person. They see a person that could hurt them, instead of seeing the possibility of friendship. Now I'm wary of people. I learned a long time ago to trust my gut instinct. With all the crap I went through, I had to trust myself, and what I felt around people. If I got bad vibes, then I stayed away. Sometimes though, you just have to push through. But not everyone is willing to let go. To let go of their past so that they can begin to see their future clearly. And here I am talking about my past, because well, it's my past, it may have helped shape me into the person I am, but it in no way defines me, or my future. I help anyone I can. I see the good in people until they show me the bad, unless I get bad vibes. And you know what I'm talking about, that feeling of uneasiness you get when you are around a person, who doesn't care about anyone but themselves, who isn't in anything unless it solely benefits them, the person who does more harm then good in every situation, because they dont' care, the person who hurts people without a second thought, and then leaves them there after blaming them for what this person did. They are the people who leave you wondering what is this world coming to?!
So why did I tell you all this? Why did I divulge information about my past? Because one....it doesn't bother me to talk about it anymore. Granted I didn't go into detail, because well, if someone actually gave a shit, if they genuinely cared, they would have asked about my life. But the reality is no one cares. And giving freely of information of my past, can be "juicy gossip" for people, but the truth is I don't care if people talk about me. WHY? Because people talk about other people everyday. And that's a reality. They need to talk about someone else so that their problems can be avoided for a little while. And the second reason I talked a little about my past is because I want people to understand, that if I can go through all the crap I went through and still see good in people, still want to help others that need it, WHY CAN'T YOU??? Maybe you can, and maybe it's just that you don't want to help anyone. I don't know. But why wouldn't you? WHY wouldn't you help a child get a better Christmas? Maybe it's because you don't want to put any money in my pocket? Or maybe you find it better to just donate to Toys for Tots in person. But I don't think that's the reason. I'm challenging anyone who ACTUALLY reads this, to buy 1 candle, and wait for proof that I actually did donate a toy to the Toys for Tots Foundation! I will post pictures. I'm still holding onto the hope, the faith that there is still good people out there and that someone will be in a "giving mood" and actually take me up on my challenge. But the realist in me is trying to get me to doubt that there is any good left in humanity. Because why do you have to be in a "giving mood" to actually give? Why can't you just give for the sake of someone else? Why can't you just do it because they need it? Or because it will make another person smile? Before I post the link to my website, again I'll ask, if I can give just because I want to genuinely help, WHY CAN'T YOU???

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents

Half of my commission goes to buy an awesome toy to donate to Toys for Tots!

That's right half of my 30% commission on each purchase will go to buy then donate a toy to the Toys for Tots foundation! NO LIE!!! So the bigger your purchase the bigger the toy I buy then donate to Toys for Tots will be! So lets help make Christmas wonderful for all the children whose parents aren't able! I remember when I was being helped when I wasn't able to give my kids a Christmas, so I want to give back, and I'm hoping there may still be some kind people out there that want to help others more then themselves! So what do you say? Will you help me help the kids whose parents aren't able to give their children a Christmas? Or are you the selfish type???

I guess I'll find out soon enough huh!

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents

Gift the gift that gives back!

A portion of my commission (which is 30%, so I'm donating 10%) will go to buy and donate toys to the Toys for Tots foundation. So every purchase made, will help a child in need, and give them an awesome Christmas! So follow my link, make a few purchases, because while you give someone the gift of a Jewelry in Candles Candle, you'll also give a child a reason to smile by giving them something to open on Christmas Day!

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents

Help give a child a Christmas they deserve!

Jewelry in Candles

Where deliciously scented candles and stunningly gorgeous jewelry meet, to create one amazing gift.

A portion of each purchase made will go to buy toys to donate to Toys for Tots to help give a child the Christmas they deserve.

15% discount on all orders over $70

Each item you order comes with a piece of jewelry of your choice inside. Choose either a pair of earrings, a necklace, or a ring! (Rings are available in sizes 6-9)

Visit the website below to order:

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents

If you have any questions please click the contact me button on the top of my website and I will either call or email you and answer all your questions.

Love the smell of Baby powder, but hate the mess?

Well At Jewelry in Candles, we can solve your problem! With our Baby Powder scented candle! Let this candles smell take you back to when your kids were babies, and they all smelled like baby powder! When you light this candle its sure to bring up those happy memories.

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents/p/51:c:95/relaxing-scents/baby-powder-candle/

Racism and Intolerance

Note: These are my beliefs, my thoughts, the way I feel and not to be mistaken for anyone elses. If you agree great if not that's fine too. I know I have friends who have a variety of preferences as well as religious beliefs, so if you are easily offended please DO NOT READ.

I wrote this after I read an article on how gays were intolerant, and how they were destroying the "sanctity of marriage". It pissed me off if I'm being honest! I was frustrated at how my children were treated. How I was treated because I was dating a black man, then the schools didn't honor Martin Luther Kings birthday. I had had enough. So I wrote this and sent it to the editor of the Sidney Sun, our local newspaper at the time. The editor called me and told me they wanted to publish it, it was perfect, and since Martin Luther Kings birthday was the following week it would be a great time to publish it. This article reached people from all over Nebraska, and all the way to Denver Colorado. I am very proud of this. It was longer, but they shortened it so that they could publish it in one print. So you are getting the edited version!

"Dear Editor,

I was reading the newspaper Dec. 26 and found the article called “The Gay Community is Intolerant, Too” interesting. It was well written to say the least. Kudos to the writer!! It also got me thinking about the things that I have had to go through. I am a white women married to a black man. Our children are mixed race. My family moved here for peace and quiet, but the people here make me want to move. I have never experienced more disdain, contempt and outright hatred and racism as I have here in Sidney. Now, not all of the people here are like that. There are many who have not treated us like we are beneath them, they have treated us like “ordinary people.” Then there are those who have told my daughter they don’t want to be her friend because she is not “white” enough. Six-year-old children are telling my daughter this. There are those who know my husband is black and still have the audacity to use the “N” word around my family, thinking we will be OK with it. I have been called “N” lover, and my children have been called “negrites,” – a word for those of the bi-racial background. In Sidney, where black people are few are far between, people still have the nerve to use the “N” word! People are being taught that blacks are an inferior race, one beneath whites. Here in Sidney – where there are more whites then there are any race – shouldn’t National Black History Month and Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday be celebrated just they are in the other 49 states? Martin Luther King, Jr. Day was supposed to be observed in ALL 50 states in 2006! And yet here, it is not celebrated? Just because there are few black people in Sidney does not mean they should not learn about their background. Don’t you think that white children have the right to know what their race put others races through?  Don’t you think that our children need to know what their ancestors did because they thought the darker-skinned were less of a people? No matter where we go, there will be people who can’t stand that my family is of mixed ethnicity. But to come to a small town that says it prides itself on family values and then teaches its children its okay to hate black people and that it’s okay to use the “N” word is not family values at all. That is racism. However small people may think it is, it is still racism, and it still hurts. I have written that to say this: Intolerance is not just for the religious or the gay or lesbian. I am intolerant of racism. I am intolerant of ignorance. Ignorance is not bliss. It is handed down from generation to generation. It can be fixed by education, education of history – all history. Intolerance, on the other hand, is not easily overcome. It is something that we have to live with. Some people do not tolerate liars, sexual predators, thieves, or murderers just as some people don’t tolerate religious people, and some people don’t tolerate gays and lesbians. We all have something that we do not tolerate, and if your preference is the same sex, or if you prefer black men to white men – or black women to white women – or if you believe in something or not doesn’t make you right or wrong. It just makes it your preference or your opinion. It is not a standard that has to be won or lost. You cannot force someone to believe or think the way you do. You can only state your opinion and let them state theirs. If in the end you do not agree, then you agree to disagree!! When the (Dec. 26) column’s writer stated, “someone’s standard has to win,” I believe he was incorrect. Being gay or lesbian is not a standard. It is a choice for some – something they may feel they need to be. Just as being religious is a choice that you can’t force on an individual! Being gay is not contagious, nor is being religious. By being gay or religious you live by different standards, yes, but neither one has to win. The gay and lesbian community is not trying to “hijack” anything. They just want to be treated fairly, just as the African Americans did during the slave days and the civil rights movement. Just because they want to be viewed as equals and have the right to marry who they wish does not make it right or wrong!! It does not mean that they are trying to steal something sacred. Let’s be honest – about 95 percent of the people that get married end up divorced in the first five to 10 years anyway, so what would they really be “hijacking”? The fact they are able to carry the same last name for however long they are able to stand each other? Or maybe the very religious are afraid of change in their own group and don’t want to incorporate the people that don’t think, act, walk, talk, and believe like them? I just don’t think that you are hurting anyone by being religious – or by being gay or lesbian. That is a personal thing. There is just a lack of communication here! Like I said, intolerance is not something you get over. It is handed down from generation to generation, just like ignorance! Just like racism. And while your writer has his opinion on the intolerance of the gay community, these are my opinions on the article he wrote and racism in Sidney."

As you can see, I was frustrated! Although any feedback you would like to give me would be great! And try to be contructive with the criticism! :) Thanks all!

Society's Judgmental views on Parents Disciplining their own Children

I wrote this article back in May of 2008 when I had only 4 kids! LOL I posted it on Helium.com and it stayed at number 1 in it's category until April 2012 where someone submitted a new article! I am very proud that this article had stayed at Number 1 for so long! It means that I got through to people, it means that my words rang true for many parents out there! It has had over 3 million views. As always please feel free to give me feedback! It is always appreciated! 

When it comes to disciplining our children society has had a say in it for quite some time. Being a mother of 6 children I should know. Now a days there are more laws banning and or restricting parents from disciplining their children then there are laws for stealing.
California passed a law about 6 years ago that states that parents do not have the right to discipline any child under the age of 6 years. They are not allowed to hit their child's hand for touching something in a store that may break and cause their child to hurt themselves or someone else, the parent is not allowed to even look like they are going to discipline their child or the parent can end up spending a year in jail,and after they are let out they are only allowed supervised visits with their children. Meanwhile, the child gets forcibly ripped away from the only parents they have ever known and thrown into the foster care system. Where there, they'll be lucky to find a family that will care more about them, then they do about the money. I know I was raised in the foster care system of California, but that is another story all together. I wasn't there because of my behavior I can tell you that. But I digress.
All this happened because a child was smacked on the hand for touching something breakable. Yeah, a lifetime of trauma for the parent and child versus a small sting of the hand that may last 5 minutes at most and a lesson that may last 20 minutes!
So if you have a child 6 years old or younger you are not allowed to discipline him/her. I say it's a load of b.s.. How does a parent expect to keep a child under control without a little discipline? Uh, yeah you don't. How does a parent expect to keep a child out of jail without some form of discipline. Again I say, Um....you don't. I have seen first hand what happens to a child that has no form of discipline. I dated a guy for 2 years that most people would consider a "mama's boy". His mother allowed him to do whatever he wanted to do all his life, no discipline for hime because he has ADD and Bi-polar disorder, so she let him get away with everything, plus he was the youngest as well. See where I'm goin with this? Yes he had some psychological issues, but if anything this meant he needed order, structure, and discipline, not a lack of all of the above. Now this man is 30 years old, no job, addicted to drugs, been to state prison for 8 years, and since he's been out (around 2 years now) he has been back in jail at least 5 times. All the other children in the family are thriving, full time jobs, with steady history, because they had the discipline that the youngest didn't.

When I was a child, I was taught to say "yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir, please, thank you" etc. (by the people that adopted me before I was taken away for sexual abuse) If I didn't the result would be a smack to the face or butt. Now if I did something wrong that I knew was wrong then I was whooped for it. My mother or father took a belt and spanked my butt until it hurt for me to sit down. I was whooped on several occasions and here I am alive and well still able to tell about those whooping's.
Now I know that there is talk about "other ways" to discipline your kids, but reality folks it works about 15-20% of the time. I know because I've tried them I've tried the "Johnny please don't do that, no Johnny stop, I said stop Johnny, Johnny please stop screaming, No johnny don't climb on that, No johnny, don't touch that, it can hurt you, Please stop screaming Johnny, mommy is just trying ot make you safe". This doesn't work, you are constantly talking and telling him to stop, instead of making him stop. He is a 21 month old child. You can talk to your child and tell them the thing's that are right and the things that are wrong. I mean seriously you can talk and talk until you are blue in the face and unless your child has the attention span that you do your child heard about 15 to 30 seconds of what you said. Most kids learn by showing.  I show my kids everyday. I get up make my bed, clean my room, brush my teeth, the start breaskfast. My kids get up, make their beds brush their teeth then eat breakfast.You show your child what will happen if he or she steals from a store then your child is less likely to do so. My son who was 3 years old at the time, was caught stealing some gum from the store. He had already asked if he could have it and I said no, so he decided to steal it. I saw him, and after I finished paying for our things I made him go talk to the manager of the store. I told him to give the gum back to the manager and apologize. I asked the manager to explain what would happen if he stole again. The manager did, he had the secruity person, which looked like a cop to my son, come over and explain that they would have to take him to jail if he did it again. My son hasn't stolen since. If you show your child what will happen if he or she has sex before they turn at least 25 then he or she is less likely to do so. With the birth of my 6th child my oldest was there. My only girl  (age 11) out of 6 children, I wanted her to know the experience of giving birth. She was able to ask all the questions she wanted, and watch as I gave birth to her little brother. She saw me in pain, she saw what I had to go through to bring her youngest brother into the world. So, now she knows the answer to how does the baby come out. She was shocked, but all in all she thought is was a very educational experience. She knows how a baby is made. She has also stated that she isn't going to be making a baby anytime soon. Which is probably good at least until she discovers boys, then I will figure out another way to reinforce the consequences of sex. I have no doubt that my children will probably have sex before they graduate high school, which is sad, but I will make sure they know the consequences of having unprotected sex. I never sugar coat things with my children. I answer them honestly.
I believe that the key to most successful parenting is honesty, and the fact that your child fears. Fears not you but the consequences of his or her wrong doing. You need to teach your child to fear what may happen if he or she does something that they know to be wrong.
Now I know that this may not always happen the way you may want it to. But for the most part if your child fears what will happen then they won't do the wrong thing more then once!
Disciplining your child is easier said then done. Back in the 50's and 60's parents beat the crap out of their kids and their kids lived to see another day. Now parents don't do a darn thing to their kids, because we the parents are afraid.
Just what are you going to do? Wait until you have to call the police on your child because he or she came after you with a baseball bat or worse a gun? And then what are you going to tell the officer when they look at you like your crazy? Because they will look at you like your crazy. Are you going to say "oh I'm terribly sorry officer, I couldn't do anything to control him/her because of the laws prohibiting parents ability to properly discipline their children so that this won't happen" How in the world are you supposed to keep your child from becoming a career criminal if you don't discipline them and start at a young age?
Now a days kids use the law to get out of trouble with their parents. I am sorry but that is just the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard. My 6 year old daughter told my 4 year old son that if mommy or daddy doesn't give you what you want we can call the cops because that is child abuse. Yes my 6 year old said that! Let me emphasize that. she is 6 YEARS OLD! So I sat down and explained to my 6 year old the benefit of her calling the cops if she didn't "get what she wanted". I told her that she could call the cops, and the cops would come and take her away her brothers away, and even her new baby brother away, they would take mommy and daddy to jail, and she would go to one home while her brothers would go to a different home and the baby would go some place else, and they probably wouldn't be able to see each other for a long time. My 6 year old started crying saying that she didn't want to go anywhere. Now I know this may sound cruel to some of you reading this, but sometimes you have to be cruel to get a child to understand the consequences of their actions.
I am so sick of society trying to dictate to us what is the proper way to discipline OUR children. Next thing you know the government is going to be installing hidden cameras into our homes to make sure we don't hit our children. It's not just disciplining our children in public that is the concern here. You as a parent are responsible for your child's actions. You know what your child is going to attempt to do, as a young child or even as a teenager, because hello you were once their age too. You should discipline your child the way your parents did. Whoop your child or spank may be a better term for some people, for the things that you were whooped for. And use other forms of discipline such as time out (which I can tell you from experience does not work) or maybe even take something that your child loves to play with or do away from them. This method usually works on younger children not teenagers. Me, myself, I whoop my kids. It didn't kill me and it will not kill my children. My children go out into public and my 2 year old doesn't touch a thing in the store. They all stand next to the cart and hold onto a part of it. They can talk and ask for things but they know that if their father or I say no that is what we mean. Now at home they are a totally different story! They don't listen, and they scream and fight all the time. But they still get the same form of discipline I received when I was a child, only I and their father aren't as severe as our parents were.
There is nothing wrong with spanking your child as long as it is done as a form of lesson out of love and not in a fit of anger. In public society has come to restrict what parents can and cannot do to their children. And what happens to society. They blame the parents because some kid shot 45 people at a school in a fit of rage. They blame the parent because your child stole something and ended up in jail. THEY BLAME THE PARENT. What can the parent do about it? Not a thing. If you ask me it is the parents fault but it starts with society. The U.S. has to build more jails to be able to house all the criminals. It is my opinion that if parents were allowed to whoop/spank their children there wouldn't be as many criminals. Kids now a days do not respect their parents. Why? If you ask me I'd say it's because they don't fear their parents. When I was growing up kids feared their parents, and not so much their parents but what would happen to them if they got caught by their parents for doing something they knew to be wrong. Kids feared and respected their parents and the law, and there were far less criminals then, then there are now. Why because of the discipline they had back then, and the lack of it now.

House Hunting NIGHTMARE!!!!

Well, to say this is somewhat of a disaster would be an understatement. Baytown TX has little to offer in matters of legality, and honesty when it comes to searching for a house to rent. Oh people are honest enough about the reasons they don't want to rent to you, but those reasons aren't always legal. I mean you could take them to court under the Fair Housing Act, and bring up the housing laws, but then why would you want to rent to someone who is biased about the number of children you have, or racist about the nationality and racial background of your spouse or child?

My family and I have 6 children, many who read my blog will eventually become tired of my repetition of this aspect of my life. But it is necessary to make my point. Our children are bi-racial. And I know that this was a problem back in Sidney Nebraska where we used to live, didn't think this would be a problem in the south. But apparently it is.

Not only is the racial background of my children and husband a problem, so is the amount of children we have. Legally, according to the Housing Laws a family of 8 can rent a house that has 4 bedrooms, and 2 baths, and not violate any housing laws.

But apparently no one who rents the houses we need are wanting to allow us to rent their home. We pay our rent on time, my children are decent kids, and don't tear up things. We take care of house we are currently in (despite the many maintenance problems our current landlord won't bother fixing) but we will get to that fiasco later.

Is it too much to ask to be able to rent a house, that is in good shape, has adequate insulation, nothing leaks, and has 4 beds and 2 baths? I mean hell, we'll even settle for a carport instead of a garage. We'd like a yard so our kids can play, preferably fenced, but hey if not we'll fence the yard ourselves.

But this is hard. Everyone wants to rent a huge 4 bd house to people who don't need that much room. Or to people with 1.2 kids, ya know?! Whereas, my family and I are trying to make due in a small, 3 bd house that is around 1200sqft. Not a lot of room at all. No car port, no garage, and we have a hole in our ceiling where the A/C leaks. And when I say leak, I mean I have a 2.5 gallon bucket underneath it, and I have to empty the thing 2 times a days. Not to mention the mold growing around our air vents, and not being able to use half the stove because the ceiling is falling down onto it. Don't want to be cooking and have plaster in my dinner ya know?!!

So, we've been searching for a house for going on 4 months now. We have a set price we can afford and so far everything we have looked at, I've either gotten, I rented it to someone else, or I don't want to rent to you because of how many kids you have. WTH? We are dealing with a hole in the ceiling, mold, black mold at that, and it's only a matter of time until the entire ceiling in the kitchen falls down. Our electric bill is over $500 a month for the past 3 months because of the hole, and the fact that the roof and attic aren't properly insulated.

I hate complaining. I really honestly do, but when you have mold growing on your ceiling, around the air vents in the kitchen bathroom, master closet and the wood on the attic, and a hole in the ceiling, plus massive leakage, and you have little children, you don't want to live in the house anymore. For safety and health issues. And does our landlord care? No, he came to "fix" the ceiling, and the A/C so that it wouldn't leak, and all he did was put a bigger pan next to the smaller pan in the attic to catch the leak, which didn't do a thing for the leak. He didn't patch the ceiling, but he did give us a piece of like flat insulation, that you would put I guess next to a window or a/c, to nail to the ceiling after it dried out. And that was his idea of "fixing" the problem, he said he would come back to take another look at it, but I haven't heard anything. And I haven't seen him, that was two weeks ago, and 3 days after the ceiling fell to the floor. We've been dealing with the leak for about 6 months now, and it's only gotten worse.

So we look for a house. Our credit isn't the best, so we avoid Realtors. We always pay our rent between the 1st and the 5th of each month. We take care of the yard, and try not to bother the landlord much, unless there is a serious problem. Our kids help take care of the house, they don't write on the walls, or punch holes anywhere, the blinds are a different story, but those are easy to replace. Kids are steady looking out the window, and I don't mind replacing the blinds. Almost everywhere you look you'll see those cheap plastic blinds that cost about $5 bucks, in the windows.

The only thing stopping us from being able to move are the people who are renting the houses. I've seen I know at least 20 houses. First I started with 3 bedroom houses, because all the 4 beds were out of our price range! I mean c'mon 4 bd 2 bth but only 1600sgft, and rent is $1500 a month? That's almost a dollar a square foot! Jeez! But I mention 6 kids and people scurry like roaches when the lights come on. So I said find I'll say four kids, (I hate lying, I'm not good at it at all, but we need to move, so necessary evil). Even then people scurried, although not a fast as they did when I said 6. I even called the same lady twice about one house, and changed the number of my kids, and she still said it was too many!! I mean c'mon people, they are KIDS, not freaking criminals or sex offenders. I mean you don't mind them living next to you, or renting your house, but a family, who works hard, has adequate income, not the best credit, and 6 kids you won't let rent your house?? Seriously, am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?

Okay, after about 7 houses turning us down because of our child ratio, we decided to finally move on to 4 bed houses. But finding one in the $900-$1200 price range.....not so easy. Trulia has houses galore, but most of the are from $1400-$3200 a month! Who can really afford $3200 a month now? Certainly not my family.

So just recently, like yesterday actually, I looked at a 4 bed 2 bath house here in Baytown. The lady who showed it to me, rushed through the house, and didn't really care to hear what I said. The rent was a great price, apparently they were professional landlords. Okay not a biggie, but when I asked her about the application process, she told me she shows the house to several people, and picks the one she likes best! What is this a popularity contest? I mean shouldn't you rent to people based on the ability to pay the rent? Or rent to the person able to give you the deposit first? So again I heard I'll make a decision this evening, and she had me write my name and number down on a paper, and when I did, I saw she has a big star next to the only other person on the paper. I figured she must have really liked this lady, so I knew then and there I wasn't going to get the house because even though she showed it to me, she didn't talk to me, ask me any valid questions to get to know the type of person I was, other then to ask how many kids I had, and I knew she had made her decision. When I didn't hear from her I gave her a call and left a message. She called me back and said that someone else rented the house. I thought okay you made your pick before I even saw the house. So I thanked her for her time and hung up. Even more disappointed then when I saw the star on that damn paper. Because I thought maybe just maybe she might pick my family to rent her house. Because we are in desperate need of a house, the price was right, but it just wasn't meant to be.

It's funny how people will say good things to you when you are in a bad situation, or try to be nice when you are feeling bad about something not going through. They always say, it wasn't meant to be, or something better will come along. And you sit there and look at them like, really? WHEN??? And how do you know? It gets irritating after hearing it for 6 months. Really irritating. As a matter of fact so does the continual disappointment of not being able to rent a house because of my family's race or the amount of children we have. So what we have 6 kids, all of whom are half black and half white? So what my husband is black and I am white? Who are you to judge us??? But that's what renting is about right? They either judge you based on the color of your skin, or the amount of children you have, or your background, or your credit score. It's all a matter of being judged, just each potential landlord has their own particular way of judging you.

I get frustrated enough to throw my hand up and say "Fk it" but I don't. I keep pushing, keep searching, keep praying that we will find a better house, a bigger house, and soon. So really what else can we do but continue, and maybe even sometimes complain?

Happy HUNTING!!!! *yeah right*

Kids aren't scared, the parents are.

If you are easily offended by the opinions of others, please skip to the next blog. I won't sugar coat my thoughts or feelings here.

I'd really like to understand why parents think they need to be afraid. It boggles my mind to think that the reason kids are the way they are is because the parents are afraid to discipline their kids. In my best Larry the Cable guy/Mater voice, "That's funny right there!"

You see, I was raised to respect my elders, no matter if I thought they deserved my respect or not. I was a child, I wasn't the adult, so I had rules to follow. I was taught to say "yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir, please, thank you, & may I". I was taught to speak when entering someone elses home. To understand that not everything I think has to be said. That there is a time and a place to everything. My parents believed in whoopin my butt, their parents believed in it as well. I survived, so I figured my kids will too.

Now for those of you reading this that may have weak constitutions regarding disciplining your children, you may want to skip to the next blog, because I don't sugar coat a thing I believe in.

I am a firm believer in corporal punishment, or spanking, or whoopin my kids butts, when they misbehave. I don't tolerate liars, thieves, cheats, or disrespectful children. 

My children have chores...EVERYDAY. They don't get an allowance for doing their chores, they do them for free. Why would I pay them for doing something they are going to have to do for free when they are older? That makes no sense to me. I tell them that they have chores because when they are adults they will need to know how to take care of themselves. All my son's will learn how to cook, and not just the basics. They will know how to cook a meal with enough food for at least 7. 

I have always believed that if you spare the rod you will spoil the child. I see children everyday that are disrespectful to their parents, and other adults around them. 

Just the other day my children were watching the older movie "Problem Child 2" and saw how the kids were acting on the movie, when they came to me and said, "Mom if we ever talked to you like that kid, or acted like that kid you would whoop our buts." To which I replied,"If you ever talked to me like that child talked to his elders, when you got up off the floor you would realize what a mistake you made and apologize, and learn not to embarrass yourself or me again." And they agreed. My children know that I love them. But they also know that if they act like delinquents, then they better get ready to accept the consequences of their actions.

I think that if more parents whooped their children (or spank for those that prefer that term) then there would be less crime committed. If parents weren't afraid of their kids and the government getting involved, then kids would start to act like they had sense.

Who is the government to tell us how we can and can't raise our flesh and blood? Who are they to determine what is abuse and what is discipline? In the state of California it is illegal to smack your child if they are under the age of 6. (I am sooooooo glad I left California before this absurd law went into effect.) Why is it absurd you ask, well here's what I think. When you are raising your child, and they start to do something that could harm them, say they are 4, what is the automatic reaction? To tell them no, and tell them why. Right, but what if they repeatedly do what you are telling them not to do, because let's face it, that's what kids do? Well then you would smack them on the butt. But in California you aren't allowed to do that. You will get forcibly taken from your child and thrown into jail for up to a year for the first offence. Your child will be placed into foster care with strangers that may or may not treat them right, because I can tell you from first hand experience that most foster families care more about the money they get then the children they are supposed to protect. Then after you serve your allotted time in jail, you are forced to take parenting classes, and have supervised visits with your own child. So you tell me.......which is more distructive to the child, the smack on the butt, or the foster care and supervised visits? Yeah, that's what I thought. It's freaking ridiculous what we've allowed this government to control. 

I mean really, you want to call the cops on your child for threatening you with a knife or gun or some other thing, then have the officer come to your house and look at you like you are crazy, wondering why you never disciplined (aka whooped) your child? I personally don't. Why would I want that? So I can look sheepishly at the cop and think sorry officer, the "LAW" said I couldn't whoop my child, so now you have to deal with him/her. RIIIIIIIGHT. I don't freakin think so. I'd rather whoop my child and hear how mannerable and well behaved they are in public then have to deal with the looks of said law enforcement, and my child when they are hauled off to jail. To me personally that would make me a failure as a parent. Now not all children that go to jail are a result of the parents failings. Some actually just don't care. But personally, I've experienced first hand what happens when a child has no discipline, and is allowed to do whatever they want all the time. I dealt with that in one of my ex's. His parents had different views on parenting. His mother allowed him to do whatever he wanted, and gave in to everything he did, just so her son wouldn't get pissed off, and the father didn't believe in spanking his son. But their son tried to burn their house down buy locking them in and starting a fire, their son decided that it would be okay to beat the crap out of anyone who pissed him off, and the mother didn't like for him to be upset because of his anger issues. He is ADHD and Bi-Polar. But this doesn't excuse his behavior. He needed structure and discipline, not lack of structure and no discipline at all. This has resulted in his being in and out of jail since he was 14 and having no education at all. Not holding down a job, or taking any responsibility for his actions. He is 30 years old now and still blames everyone else for his being in jail. This isn't how you want your child to end up. 

When children were getting their a**es whooped back in the 50's and 60's you didn't see anyone complain about it did you? NO. You didn't see children killing other children in a fit of rage because they took their toy did you? NO. WHY? Because children were afraid of the consequences of thier actions, that's why. They weren't afraid of their parents, just the discipline that they incurred for doing the wrong they knew they weren't supposed to. Children cared about themselves and other people. They respected themselves and other people. 

Children now a days think they have it hard. That's BULLSHIT. They have it easier then I did, or even my parents did. They have iPhone's at age 9......WTH is up with that? Why would a 9 year old need a damn iPhone? Please tell me, because I just don't understand that. I didn't get my first cell phone until I was 19 and paid for it myself. We didn't have a game system for every room in the house. We didn't even have a TV for every room in the house, we only had 1 yes ONE TV. And we watched what my parents wanted to watch. Which happened to be a lot of news, weather, Star Trek, and Westerns. OH JOY!! LOL

I didn't sit around all day and play video games when it was hot outside, no I got my a** up and went outside. I didn't stay outside for 10 minutes then come back inside, because it was "too hot". Nope I stayed outside, and drank out of the water hose when I got thirsty. And I had fun doing it too.

I had chores, oh lord did I have chores! My family had animals and a couple acres. We had cows, pigs, goats, horses, ducks and chickens. I had to get up early to feed and water the animals. I watched them give birth, and knew how to.......neuter them. I rode a horse to the bus stop when I was in kindergarten. I could take care of the animals without help.  I knew how to cook when I was 10. I knew how to do laundry when I was 5. I could make my own breakfast and breakfast for my younger twin brothers. I grew up with something kids no nothing about these days....it's called "RESPONSIBILITY."

Funny concept, responsibility. It means you do things because they need to be done, whether you like it or not. For some people raising kids this has become an obsolete term. It has become something of a curse word. 

Parents who try to be their kids FRIEND really piss me off. If you were meant to be your childs friend you'd be the same age, going to the same school and taking the same classes. Seriously people, get it together. "Oh let's be friends sweetie, even though you are my daughter, we should be the best of friends." Makes me want to shake the crap outta them. 

For those of you that gasped and got offended, I guess that means your the "friend" instead of the parent, which means you might wanna pay close attention to what I say next.

Being a parent means that you have to make the hard choice. It means that sometimes you have to disappoint your child. They can't always have everything they want. There is no reason for them to have a phone, tablet, portable game system, and an mp3 player or iPod. That is excessive. It's ridiculous. Most kids aren't responsible enough these days to take care of themselves let alone the electronics they are given. 

My children have to earn everything they want. I, as a parent, take care of everything they need, such as clothes, shoes, food, a warm place to sleep, love, nurture, personal care all the things that are necessary for daily life. 


The things they want, like toys, games, phones, all the extra's that aren't pertinent to daily life, they have to earn. They have to earn them by getting good grades, doing their chores without being asked to do them, or doing extra things. Then if I feel like they can be responsible enough then they get one thing that they want.

For those of you that have read my blogs before you know I have 6 children. My oldest is my daughter who will be 12 in December! The time has just flown by. She is just now responsible enough to have a cell phone. So this birthday she will be getting one. This will piss my two oldest boys off no doubt, but when they turn 12 if they are responsible enough then they will get a phone too. 

My daughter gets mad at me because I won't let her do things that other kids are doing already. The latest thing is shaving her legs. I wonder what kind of parent lets their 11 year old shave her legs. Who is going to be worried about an 11 year old having hair on her legs? No one that you would want around your daughter anyways right? So my daughter thinks I'm being the meanest mother in the world for not letting her shave her legs. Do I care? NO. And before you think me heartless, let me tell you why I don't care. Because if I cared that she thought I was mean, not just my daughter but all my kids would be the most spoiled rotten, misbehaved brats the world has seen. You know, the ones in the store that throw that temper tantrum because they can't have that toy, the ones that scream at the top of their lungs because they can't have their way. NO way in HELL would I deal with that kind of disrespect. So no I don't care if my children think I'm mean. My point of view is this, if I'm being mean, I'm being the parent. My kids don't have facebook accounts, and won't until they are at least 15 or 16 because there are too many perverts out there who pretend to be someone they aren't and gain the trust of innocent children on facebook and other websites like that and then get the children to meet them so that they can hurt them. So NO my kids don't have websites and facebook pages and social pages of any kind. They aren't allowed to sit in front of the TV, or computer, or video games all day. They get their chores done and they have 1 hour of play time of their choice, then it's outside or family time. 

My children love me, they know I love them. When I discipline my children, they know why they are getting their butts whooped. They know that I don't like whooping them, but they haven't listened, they disrespected me, the rules, and themselves by divulging in the behavior they knew they weren't supposed to. 

I know kids are going to get into stuff they aren't supposed to, and before you get all shocked because I whoop my kids, let me tell you that those whoopings are few and far between. I always issue a warning first, then I either have them stand in the corner, or clean something they don't normally clean, like baseboards, or floors, or trash outside. Then the whooping will happen if these other things haven't worked. And most of the time I don't have to worry about that. I will whoop for stealing, lying, and cheating. I do not tolerate any of that period. 

My children know that they can talk to me. I will always listen. I won't prevent them from making choices, but I will advise against certain ones, because I know that my children will have to make their own mistakes and learn from them. 

At the age of 13 my children will start making more decisions on their own. I am going to do this because I feel that they need to know that some choices aren't the right ones. I can't protect them from themselves. No matter how much the mother in me wants to. My children are in no way perfect. They will fight with me, call me names behind my back, and probably even to my face, although that will only happen once, because when they get up off the floor the only thing they'll be saying to me is an apology.

Parents please don't be afraid to discipline your children. They need structure and guidance. They need you to tell them what is right, and what is wrong. They need to know that there are consequences for each of their actions. They need to know that they aren't allowed to do everything they want all the time. They need to know that there are limits and boundaries to what they can have and what they can do.  They need to respect their elders, and themselves. They need to have faith in themselves, and their parents. They need so much from you as a PARENT. You have a child, you weren't made to be their friend. You were blessed with a child so that you can teach and grow with your child. They didn't come with a rule book, or guidelines. But you know your child. You know what they are tempted to do when they get older because you probably did the same things when you were a kid. Just think about it.You as a parent have to learn how tightly to hold the reins on your child so that they grow and learn and understand the boundaries, without pulling too tightly on them so that they rebel and turn into the very thing you were trying so hard to prevent. You have to understand that they will make mistakes, they will not always understand what you are trying to instill in them. But when they are older, the kids whose parents disciplined them, and taught them, and nurtured them, will come back and say thank you. Because they will see the type of person they could have become if they got everything they always wanted, or they were allowed to do whatever they wanted. They need to be raised, not raise themselves. So PARENT your child, don't befriend them. If they needed another friend I promise, you would have been their age, not have had them born to you. 

We have values as a family. It's important to instill these values and beliefs into our children so that the rest of the world can deal with them. So that they grow to become respectable, responsible adults. I will always be proud of the great things my children do. And I will love them regardless of the wrongs they do. They will always be my babies, no matter how grown up they get.

So ends my rant about parents and discipline! :)