Give the Gift of Giving Back!!!

This is the season to give. So it has inspired me to give back to my community. So half of my 30% commission per sale will go directly towards Toys for Tots until Christmas is over. Then I will be donating to Joyful Heart Foundation, (because of my personal background) as well as the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, and Make a Wish Foundation. I'm sure you all know what the last two foundations are, but the Joyful Heart Foundation is for victims of abuse, whether it's physical, mental, emotional, sexual, rape, or economical (and yes there is a such thing as economical abuse). I want to give people hope. I want to help people in need, not just around the Holiday times but all the time. I hope that there is enough good in people to join me and help me give back to those that need it more then we do! You'll get a great product, plus a sense of peace that comes with knowing that every purchase you make will help someone in need. So don't wait. Make a purchase now and help someone who really needs it.


https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents

UPDATE: Ran over Attacker with Van

I just wanted to update everyone on my attack back in June 2013. The case will go to trial. The attacker (Ismael Martinez) is looking at 25 to Life because this is his third offense. The trial date hasn't been set as of yet, but it will go through proceedings in about 6 months (they are really backed up in court!!!) Then the trial will start in about a year or so. 

This has been a horrendous experience for myself and my family and especially my two young children who were with me at the time. And this will not end now. Maybe when the trial is over, and I really don't know how long that could take, then we can officially heal. I know until this is all over, I will continue to glance back out of paranoia whenever I hit that part of the street when he popped up in the back of my van. I will continue to see his face in my rear view mirror looking around to make sure we aren't followed. I will still hear his voice telling me to do what he says or he'll hurt my children. I may always have reservations about it. I know that I am more aware of my surroundings, and even more wary of people. But if I've learned anything from this, it's to stay calm, be aware of the details, because you never know what may be needed or how they can affect the situation, and always, always check your vehicle before getting in.

New update on my attack.

So in case anyone who follows me was wondering, I have the latest update on my attack.

I talked to the Assistant DA for Harris County. Very nice lady. But I'll go out on a limb here and say that she isn't nice if you are on the wrong side! Anyways, she had called me and left me a message. I got in touch with her and she told me that Ismael Martinez was in fact out of the hospital, but not in custody. Which put me in a state of panic actually. Which was in the message itself. I couldn't sleep at all the other night. As opposed to any other night where I can only seem to get about 4 hours sleep. The rest of the night I'm either getting up to check the locks on the doors, trying to find out what a specific noise was in the house, or just lying there staring at the ceiling. or squeezing my eyes shut hoping that I will eventually fall back asleep. Right...back on track. So she asked me to tell her about what happened. First I asked her if it was being recorded. Then I asked her what side she was on. Cause sometimes the Prosecutor has certain feelings about the defendant, and in his case some might feel sorry for him. IDK, but I know it has happened before. So, then she told me that he wasn't in custody at the moment, but they were working on getting him into custody. Since he is permanently paralyzed and is confined to a wheel chair they had to have a special task force apprehend him.

I was still shaking when I hung up with her. Because she wasn't sure when they would get him into custody. Needless to say I didn't go anywhere Wednesday. Of course I've been avoiding having to go anywhere unless I absolutely need to. I still don't like to drive my van, I've even taken to talking to non-existent persons' in my car, (and I know they are non-existent, because I've checked my van and there was no one in it but me) and told them that if they didn't want to end up like the last guy that got into my car and attacked me, I'd advise them to exit now. Of course my brain is arguing with itself, one side is saying "hey you know there's no one in the car idiot" while the other side is saying, "what if you didn't check well enough and someone pops up in your car again?" So I'm constantly at war with myself thinking that I'll get attacked again, continuously looking over my shoulder, leery of people who smile to wide at me, or stare at me or my kids too long for my taste. I mean I think I'm really bordering on freakin paranoia and I can't stop it. It sucks. But right back to the update.

Then I received an email yesterday telling me that he was in custody. The DA said she would try and get this to trial as soon as possible. I asked her why it would go to trial and she told me that this is his third offense and he is looking at 25 to life. And that she will push for the longest sentence possible. And the soonest trial date, because she is sure it's going to go to trial. And yes I will have to testify. Which is freaking me out more then I already am. I've had crap happen to me, my father molested me, among other things, but I didn't have to go to trial for him, because he confessed after 6 months in jail, and got out for time served. Can you believe it, after 7 years of  my going through hell, he got 6 months. UGH anyways. I don't really want to see this man again, but in order to put him in jail, I will have to put a brave face on and tell my story! And then hope that the Defense Attorney doesn't try to eat me alive. But I'll handle it when that happens, just like I handle everything else in my life. I mean If I can handle being molested and beaten, then adopted, and supposed to be protected, then molested, raped, treated like a prostitute, beaten, thrown into foster care, an ex who tried to sell me to some guy on the street for $10 bucks when I was 19 and pregnant with his kid, almost dying in child birth TWICE, and being beat up by previous b/f's AND being attacked by this guy, I think I'll be able to handle the Defense Attorney. Right?? 

But it makes me wonder, if God only makes you deal with what he KNOWS you can handle.......does he think I'm freaking super woman? Or is there some kind of lesson I'm missing and I just keep getting handed this shit? I mean if I absorbed the message, and learned from it, then I really wonder what else he will throw at me and say "HERE CATCH THIS SHIT!" 

I also wonder, when is my breaking point?

Hijacking not the worst I've suffered in my life, & telling my story could be offensive.

There is a strong possibility that if I told my whole story, that there would be quite a few people that were offended by it. By the language used, by scenes of my childhood depicted. But there is also a chance that it may be able to help someone going through something similar, that they aren't alone. That it's possible to be "normal" after having endured such things. Abuse is abuse, no matter how you try and paint it in a different light, you still see abuse. No matter the setting, the person, or the situation, abuse is still abuse. There are different types of abuse, Verbal, physical, sexual, all which in turn cause emotional damage, and are forms of emotional abuse. I've suffered them all. And I am still alive, strong and able. I can tell my story and not worry about the few that may be offended, or I can sit back silently like I have for years, wondering if in fact I was to tell my whole story if I could have helped someone. It's a hard decision to share details of your life so intimate that they could ultimately destroy you, and maybe even those you love. And there are risks involved. Things that could be told that may hurt someone else, maybe even someone I love deeply or dearly, inadvertently. I find myself asking these questions. Am I willing to take the risks? Does my husband love me enough to endure the possibility of criticism that may come from telling my story? Would my children be embarrassed by the things that I have gone through being public knowledge? Would I be able to help even 1 person by telling my story? Would it be beneficial to the people who go through the same things, or similar things to know that they aren't alone? Do the benefits of helping, out way the risks to my family?
I think if I was alone, single without children, I wouldn't worry about the risks, because I would be taking them alone, like every bad thing that ever happened to me, I would deal with it alone. But now that I have 6 children, and a common law husband, so the risks have to be accessed. They have to be analyzed. They have to be weighed. It's a hard decision, to contemplate the outcome based on the few who may be hurt or embarrassed, with the benefit of possibly helping many who are suffering similar fates. Not a decision to be taken lightly. Something I will have to think with my mind, heart, and soul. Because it would be a life changing experience, for everyone involved.
~Dorothy Baker