As I've stated in previous posts, I will be donating half of my commission (which is 30%) for each purchase, to the Toys for Tots foundation. That will be for this holiday season. And for some reason this still isn't inspiring people to help give a child a better Christmas! I guess maybe some people are too, cynical, or maybe they don't believe in the good in humanity anymore. This saddens me greatly. Because I am one of those genuine people who says what I mean, and means what I say. I don't bullshit people, I don't tell story's, and I don't tolerate bullshit. Apparently this is why I have so few friends! Which is actually fine by me because I prefer Quality friends, over a quantity of friends! Simply put, I want real, not fake. I respect others as I would want to be respected. And after all the crap I've been through in my life, from being molested as a baby, before I could even walk, by my birth parents, to being thrown in foster care, to being adopted, and beaten and then molested and raped by my adopted parents, to being thrown back into foster care, then having an ex try to sell me to some random guy on the street for money, to being beaten by an ex, having children young, and then most recently being attacked in my own vehicle by a man bent on hurting me or my children to get money, I'm still here people! I'm still standing strong, looking for the good in people. Hoping that I'm not the only one left. Through all this crap I've been through, I've never thought about suicide, or taking drugs, or any bullshit like that! I've earned a degree in Paralegal Studies, and one in Business Administration, and gained a lot of knowledge, as well as student loans, and still I'm here trying to do good in this world. But I'm finding that the good in people is hidden so deep they don't know how to bring it out anymore. They've been cynical, and doubtful so long, that they have forgotten how to believe in the good in others, they've forgotten how to look at someone without judging them by the clothes they wear, or what kind of car they drive. They see skin color as a barrier, instead of seeing a person. They see a person that could hurt them, instead of seeing the possibility of friendship. Now I'm wary of people. I learned a long time ago to trust my gut instinct. With all the crap I went through, I had to trust myself, and what I felt around people. If I got bad vibes, then I stayed away. Sometimes though, you just have to push through. But not everyone is willing to let go. To let go of their past so that they can begin to see their future clearly. And here I am talking about my past, because well, it's my past, it may have helped shape me into the person I am, but it in no way defines me, or my future. I help anyone I can. I see the good in people until they show me the bad, unless I get bad vibes. And you know what I'm talking about, that feeling of uneasiness you get when you are around a person, who doesn't care about anyone but themselves, who isn't in anything unless it solely benefits them, the person who does more harm then good in every situation, because they dont' care, the person who hurts people without a second thought, and then leaves them there after blaming them for what this person did. They are the people who leave you wondering what is this world coming to?!
So why did I tell you all this? Why did I divulge information about my past? Because one....it doesn't bother me to talk about it anymore. Granted I didn't go into detail, because well, if someone actually gave a shit, if they genuinely cared, they would have asked about my life. But the reality is no one cares. And giving freely of information of my past, can be "juicy gossip" for people, but the truth is I don't care if people talk about me. WHY? Because people talk about other people everyday. And that's a reality. They need to talk about someone else so that their problems can be avoided for a little while. And the second reason I talked a little about my past is because I want people to understand, that if I can go through all the crap I went through and still see good in people, still want to help others that need it, WHY CAN'T YOU??? Maybe you can, and maybe it's just that you don't want to help anyone. I don't know. But why wouldn't you? WHY wouldn't you help a child get a better Christmas? Maybe it's because you don't want to put any money in my pocket? Or maybe you find it better to just donate to Toys for Tots in person. But I don't think that's the reason. I'm challenging anyone who ACTUALLY reads this, to buy 1 candle, and wait for proof that I actually did donate a toy to the Toys for Tots Foundation! I will post pictures. I'm still holding onto the hope, the faith that there is still good people out there and that someone will be in a "giving mood" and actually take me up on my challenge. But the realist in me is trying to get me to doubt that there is any good left in humanity. Because why do you have to be in a "giving mood" to actually give? Why can't you just give for the sake of someone else? Why can't you just do it because they need it? Or because it will make another person smile? Before I post the link to my website, again I'll ask, if I can give just because I want to genuinely help, WHY CAN'T YOU???
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