Why do you need to be in a "Giving Mood" to give back?

As I've stated in previous posts, I will be donating half of my commission (which is 30%) for each purchase, to the Toys for Tots foundation. That will be for this holiday season. And for some reason this still isn't inspiring people to help give a child a better Christmas! I guess maybe some people are too, cynical, or maybe they don't believe in the good in humanity anymore. This saddens me greatly. Because I am one of those genuine people who says what I mean, and means what I say. I don't bullshit people, I don't tell story's, and I don't tolerate bullshit. Apparently this is why I have so few friends! Which is actually fine by me because I prefer Quality friends, over a quantity of friends! Simply put, I want real, not fake. I respect others as I would want to be respected. And after all the crap I've been through in my life, from being molested as a baby, before I could even walk, by my birth parents, to being thrown in foster care, to being adopted, and beaten and then molested and raped by my adopted parents, to being thrown back into foster care, then having an ex try to sell me to some random guy on the street for money, to being beaten by an ex, having children young, and then most recently being attacked in my own vehicle by a man bent on hurting me or my children to get money, I'm still here people! I'm still standing strong, looking for the good in people. Hoping that I'm not the only one left. Through all this crap I've been through, I've never thought about suicide, or taking drugs, or any bullshit like that! I've earned a degree in Paralegal Studies, and one in Business Administration, and gained a lot of knowledge, as well as student loans, and still I'm here trying to do good in this world. But I'm finding that the good in people is hidden so deep they don't know how to bring it out anymore. They've been cynical, and doubtful so long, that they have forgotten how to believe in the good in others, they've forgotten how to look at someone without judging them by the clothes they wear, or what kind of car they drive. They see skin color as a barrier, instead of seeing a person. They see a person that could hurt them, instead of seeing the possibility of friendship. Now I'm wary of people. I learned a long time ago to trust my gut instinct. With all the crap I went through, I had to trust myself, and what I felt around people. If I got bad vibes, then I stayed away. Sometimes though, you just have to push through. But not everyone is willing to let go. To let go of their past so that they can begin to see their future clearly. And here I am talking about my past, because well, it's my past, it may have helped shape me into the person I am, but it in no way defines me, or my future. I help anyone I can. I see the good in people until they show me the bad, unless I get bad vibes. And you know what I'm talking about, that feeling of uneasiness you get when you are around a person, who doesn't care about anyone but themselves, who isn't in anything unless it solely benefits them, the person who does more harm then good in every situation, because they dont' care, the person who hurts people without a second thought, and then leaves them there after blaming them for what this person did. They are the people who leave you wondering what is this world coming to?!
So why did I tell you all this? Why did I divulge information about my past? Because one....it doesn't bother me to talk about it anymore. Granted I didn't go into detail, because well, if someone actually gave a shit, if they genuinely cared, they would have asked about my life. But the reality is no one cares. And giving freely of information of my past, can be "juicy gossip" for people, but the truth is I don't care if people talk about me. WHY? Because people talk about other people everyday. And that's a reality. They need to talk about someone else so that their problems can be avoided for a little while. And the second reason I talked a little about my past is because I want people to understand, that if I can go through all the crap I went through and still see good in people, still want to help others that need it, WHY CAN'T YOU??? Maybe you can, and maybe it's just that you don't want to help anyone. I don't know. But why wouldn't you? WHY wouldn't you help a child get a better Christmas? Maybe it's because you don't want to put any money in my pocket? Or maybe you find it better to just donate to Toys for Tots in person. But I don't think that's the reason. I'm challenging anyone who ACTUALLY reads this, to buy 1 candle, and wait for proof that I actually did donate a toy to the Toys for Tots Foundation! I will post pictures. I'm still holding onto the hope, the faith that there is still good people out there and that someone will be in a "giving mood" and actually take me up on my challenge. But the realist in me is trying to get me to doubt that there is any good left in humanity. Because why do you have to be in a "giving mood" to actually give? Why can't you just give for the sake of someone else? Why can't you just do it because they need it? Or because it will make another person smile? Before I post the link to my website, again I'll ask, if I can give just because I want to genuinely help, WHY CAN'T YOU???

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents

Why waste time?

You hate wasting time right? So why are you wasting time sitting around reading posts when you could be making money? JOIN my team for FREE!!! Click the link, then click the "Become a Rep" button under my pic, Register for FREE, login to your eCommerce store (which is FREE) to activate your account and you are ready to sell! you are ready to advertise of Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Blogger, anywhere! How about that!!!

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scent

Love the smell of Baby powder, but hate the mess?

Well At Jewelry in Candles, we can solve your problem! With our Baby Powder scented candle! Let this candles smell take you back to when your kids were babies, and they all smelled like baby powder! When you light this candle its sure to bring up those happy memories.

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents/p/51:c:95/relaxing-scents/baby-powder-candle/

Valuable lesson!

So tonight I learned a valuable lesson. No seriously I did.....

Tonight I learned what NOT to do.

Do not EVER ask a serious question, one that you really want a serious answer to, yeah that kind, don't ask a drunk person to answer a serious question. A serious question, one where the answer means a lot to you, is not something that you should ever ask a drunk person, or even a person that has had even one more drink then you have. And here are a few reasons why:

#1 You will never get an actual answer. The conversation will start to delve into things that should never be talked about or old shit that should never be brought back up.

#2 The conversation will last a good 3 hours, and again nothing will come of it, especially not an answer to the only question you asked.

#3 When the conversation does end, it will not end on a good note, nor will you have an answer to your question. You'll have talked about everything that has ever happened between you two, everything that they think you have done wrong, and no matter how many times you try to go back to the original topic, you'll fail.

#4 Here's the kicker, the person will not remember anything they have said or done, and can reserve the right to be pissed off for no apparent reason whatsoever.

I really learned something tonight guys. Now normally I stay away from serious topics with people who drink. I have about 1 or 2, when I do actually go out. And tonight was no different, I had a total of 2, yes TWO drinks, and they spanned about 3 hours apart. So I wasn't drunk when I made the mistake of asking my B/F a serious question. And I even tried to end the conversation several times. I apologized for making the mistake of asking him a serious question, while I was sober, and he was drunk. But that did no good. Needless to say, I will probably never get the answer to my question because I won't be asking him anything like that again! LOL

So moral of the story, don't be the sober one, apparantly drunk people have more fun, and they never remember SHIT!! LOL Have a great one people!

P.S. please drink responsibily! :)

Weight loss update #2

I thought about adding this in a comment on my last update, but I figure what would it hurt to have a fresh post!

I have gone down another pound! Which doesn't seem like much, but I will say I've lost several inches! I haven't actually kept up with it but honestly going from a juniors size 13 down to a size 9 is absolutely wonderful for me! I am happier, I feel better, and I'm looking in the mirror and thinking, wow you are starting to look great Dorothy! I'm feeling more confident about myself, about my abilities, about the dreams I've been wanting to accomplish! I know that if I can accomplish my weight loss goals, then I can accomplish all my other goals as well! I am on my way to becoming a happier, healthier, more confident me! And that is the best part of all!
And you can do it too! I'll tell you, besides my regular workout routine, I add two more routines into it. They are on youtube.com and total about an hour of a workout! Here  a couple of routines if you are interested in getting a great workout that doesn't really feel like a workout!


1.) Hip hop tabata workout! Keaira LaShae

2.) Reggae Dancehall workout also by Keaira LaShae

Her page is Superherofitnesstv

I use both of these plus my regular workout routine I mentioned in my previous blog, and eating healthy! All this has helped me lose weight! So from 165lbs to 158lbs, and down from a 13 to a 9! That's awesome  right!

Update on Weight Loss and Exercise plan!

So today is the 17th of Oct. 2013 and this will mark Day 4 of Week 4 of my plans! I have weighed in about twice a week, and if you follow me, then you know when I started I weighed 165lbs, and on the 8th of Oct 2013, I weighed 161lbs, and when I weighed in this morning I was at 159lbs pounds! For a grand total of 6lbs lost! Pretty good for 4 and a half weeks, but I want to do better. So, I've decided to change a few things about my plan. As I know not all plans are fool proof, and I will need to make changes accordingly, here's what I've changed thus far:

1) My carb intake is low, but I only incorporate good carbs. Mostly from eating fresh fruits and Veggies, and limiting my bread intake.

2) My fat intake is low, but I still eat fat. Our bodies need it to keep our insulin levels at a normal rate. Sugars aren't good for you. Did you know that orange juice can have up to 42 grams of sugar in it? Yes, that's right, I said 42 grams of sugar. So I rarely drink orange juice! I eat the oranges! Less sugar, and healthier too.

3) Low sugar intake! Very LOW!! Almost all the sugar I consume I get from eating all my fresh fruits and veggies, and nuts. This ensures that I read all labels and nutrition information, and ingredients. I have found that a lot of "HEALTHY" foods aren't actually healthy at all. Either the sugar content is higher, or the contain a lot of processed ingredients! No High fructose corn syrup, to fructose, no aspartame, or any other processed sugars.

4) I am limiting then eliminating the processed foods in my diet. I don't want to continuously put things in my body that are more chemical then they are actual nutrients. When food and ingredients get processed they basically get turned into a chemical equivalent of the ingredient. (I don't know all the ins and outs because obviously I'm not a scientist so really I can't adequately describe the whole entire process) Hence the term "processed" foods.

5) I drink a bottle of water with fresh squeezed lemon juice into it! Yes 16.9 ounces of water with a full lemon freshly squeezed into the bottle! This helps kick start my digestion, my metabolism, and helps the detox process the water does for my body! I also drink about 6 bottles of water a day! Sometimes I forget, but I ALWAYS remember to drink at least 4 bottles of water a day! That equals my 8 glasses.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST #6

6) I've stopped counting calories. Yes, you read me right. I've stopped counting calories. Instead I'm counting my servings. So I'm only eating 32 carbs a day and most of those are from fresh ingredients, like fruits and veggies, and un-processed grains like Quinoa. I make sure I get at least 4 servings of fruits and veggies a day, and then make sure I get at least 20 grams of protein a day. So I eat a lot of fish, eggs and beans. I also only use real butter, not margarine and fake butter, or vegetable oils. I also eat a lot of raw nuts or nuts roasted with sea salt. Because they have plenty of protein, good fat, low salt, good carbs, and almost always 1 gram of sugar! So it's a WIN WIN all around. Just remember that you have to make a plan to fit you. I started off counting calories, really to find out what I was taking into my body!

I still do my regular workout routine, and I think that this will help me reach my goal weight! And then maintain it!!

I'll check back next week to let you know my progress!

Racism and Intolerance

Note: These are my beliefs, my thoughts, the way I feel and not to be mistaken for anyone elses. If you agree great if not that's fine too. I know I have friends who have a variety of preferences as well as religious beliefs, so if you are easily offended please DO NOT READ.

I wrote this after I read an article on how gays were intolerant, and how they were destroying the "sanctity of marriage". It pissed me off if I'm being honest! I was frustrated at how my children were treated. How I was treated because I was dating a black man, then the schools didn't honor Martin Luther Kings birthday. I had had enough. So I wrote this and sent it to the editor of the Sidney Sun, our local newspaper at the time. The editor called me and told me they wanted to publish it, it was perfect, and since Martin Luther Kings birthday was the following week it would be a great time to publish it. This article reached people from all over Nebraska, and all the way to Denver Colorado. I am very proud of this. It was longer, but they shortened it so that they could publish it in one print. So you are getting the edited version!

"Dear Editor,

I was reading the newspaper Dec. 26 and found the article called “The Gay Community is Intolerant, Too” interesting. It was well written to say the least. Kudos to the writer!! It also got me thinking about the things that I have had to go through. I am a white women married to a black man. Our children are mixed race. My family moved here for peace and quiet, but the people here make me want to move. I have never experienced more disdain, contempt and outright hatred and racism as I have here in Sidney. Now, not all of the people here are like that. There are many who have not treated us like we are beneath them, they have treated us like “ordinary people.” Then there are those who have told my daughter they don’t want to be her friend because she is not “white” enough. Six-year-old children are telling my daughter this. There are those who know my husband is black and still have the audacity to use the “N” word around my family, thinking we will be OK with it. I have been called “N” lover, and my children have been called “negrites,” – a word for those of the bi-racial background. In Sidney, where black people are few are far between, people still have the nerve to use the “N” word! People are being taught that blacks are an inferior race, one beneath whites. Here in Sidney – where there are more whites then there are any race – shouldn’t National Black History Month and Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday be celebrated just they are in the other 49 states? Martin Luther King, Jr. Day was supposed to be observed in ALL 50 states in 2006! And yet here, it is not celebrated? Just because there are few black people in Sidney does not mean they should not learn about their background. Don’t you think that white children have the right to know what their race put others races through?  Don’t you think that our children need to know what their ancestors did because they thought the darker-skinned were less of a people? No matter where we go, there will be people who can’t stand that my family is of mixed ethnicity. But to come to a small town that says it prides itself on family values and then teaches its children its okay to hate black people and that it’s okay to use the “N” word is not family values at all. That is racism. However small people may think it is, it is still racism, and it still hurts. I have written that to say this: Intolerance is not just for the religious or the gay or lesbian. I am intolerant of racism. I am intolerant of ignorance. Ignorance is not bliss. It is handed down from generation to generation. It can be fixed by education, education of history – all history. Intolerance, on the other hand, is not easily overcome. It is something that we have to live with. Some people do not tolerate liars, sexual predators, thieves, or murderers just as some people don’t tolerate religious people, and some people don’t tolerate gays and lesbians. We all have something that we do not tolerate, and if your preference is the same sex, or if you prefer black men to white men – or black women to white women – or if you believe in something or not doesn’t make you right or wrong. It just makes it your preference or your opinion. It is not a standard that has to be won or lost. You cannot force someone to believe or think the way you do. You can only state your opinion and let them state theirs. If in the end you do not agree, then you agree to disagree!! When the (Dec. 26) column’s writer stated, “someone’s standard has to win,” I believe he was incorrect. Being gay or lesbian is not a standard. It is a choice for some – something they may feel they need to be. Just as being religious is a choice that you can’t force on an individual! Being gay is not contagious, nor is being religious. By being gay or religious you live by different standards, yes, but neither one has to win. The gay and lesbian community is not trying to “hijack” anything. They just want to be treated fairly, just as the African Americans did during the slave days and the civil rights movement. Just because they want to be viewed as equals and have the right to marry who they wish does not make it right or wrong!! It does not mean that they are trying to steal something sacred. Let’s be honest – about 95 percent of the people that get married end up divorced in the first five to 10 years anyway, so what would they really be “hijacking”? The fact they are able to carry the same last name for however long they are able to stand each other? Or maybe the very religious are afraid of change in their own group and don’t want to incorporate the people that don’t think, act, walk, talk, and believe like them? I just don’t think that you are hurting anyone by being religious – or by being gay or lesbian. That is a personal thing. There is just a lack of communication here! Like I said, intolerance is not something you get over. It is handed down from generation to generation, just like ignorance! Just like racism. And while your writer has his opinion on the intolerance of the gay community, these are my opinions on the article he wrote and racism in Sidney."

As you can see, I was frustrated! Although any feedback you would like to give me would be great! And try to be contructive with the criticism! :) Thanks all!

Book rewrite............... and Poetry Night

So here I am blogging.....instead of continuing to write my book. I've noticed lately I am lacking the inspiration I need to continue this paranormal book I am writing. I've become so discouraged that I am thinking of starting all over, and creating a whole other world instead of writing the story with characters on a damaged Earth. Seems like the ideas in my head aren't really co-existing with this damaged Earth I have pictured in my head. So maybe the best thing to do is to start over. I don't know.

While I ponder that, here's a story for you. lol

 I was talking with an acquaintance of mine about starting a poetry reading at the local coffee shop thing they have here in Baytown. It's called Cork Grinders. They have live music, and great coffee, and wine's and other delectables. I think it would be a good way for avid writers, fans of poetry, lovers of lyrics, to be able to express their emotions, views and opinions. Especially if they aren't musically talented.

And as I am thinking of this, I'm trying to envision a poetry reading atmosphere. It's not hard really. I'm a writer, I can invent all kinds of scenarios for books, real life shouldn't be that hard, right? Wrong. As I contemplate the type of things that would be needed to make the person at the mic comfortable, I am at a loss. I mean I know what would make me comfortable if I was at a mic, but then what is good for the goose isn't necessarily good for the gander. So I stumble with this. Which only makes me frustrated. I really despise being frustrated or upset. I try to remain calm in all situations, but I guess when it's personal, or means a lot to me it tends to bother me rather quickly. But maybe it's that way for everyone.

So since we are talking about poetry this blog, here is a little piece that I wrote that was published in a local newspaper in Nebraska, I thought about reading it if they ever do decide to have the poetry reading at Cork Grinders. Give me some feedback if you would! I'd appreciate it! And follow me for more poetry!

THE MASK

You crawled into my mind, 

and stayed there like a shadow, 

You slithered your way into my life, 

Making it seem like I chose you, 

funny how you could disguise yourself, 

when I have x-ray glasses, 

But they couldn't see through your facade, 

or hear the lies you carefully planted, 

The mask you wear has grown into your face, 

making it impossible for you to tell what is real, 

You walk around like the king of the world, 

Thinking that everyone is in the wrong, 

You can wear that crown of dirt and grime, 

Just so you can feel in control of my mind, 

You see visions bouncearound my head, 

Bold colors of red and the passions of purple, 

life full ofbrilliant greens and dull grey, 

you can see my heart but know not how to proceed, 

here are the directions to the destination you want to obtain, 

make a left at the corner of I don't think so, 

and then try going north on not on your life, 

then take the road that says get the hell outta here, 

Will I ever be this foolish again, 

as to think that love is a precious thing, 

between two people who try to be what they are not, 

to think that no matter what my circumstances are, 

that it can be allowed to enter into the doorway of another's life, 

While My mind has colors galore, 

My heart tends to be laying on the shore of where do I go now, 

waters of tomorrow are lapping at my feet, 

while I contemplate the life's lesson, my defeat, 

Crystallized skies and over powering moons, given time, 

will come to find no appreciation on this world, 

the creams and pinks and gorgeous purple hues, 

are blinding my heart and tearing up my life, 

I tried to help but all I can see is that, 

You let it eat up the love you had inside you, 

You let it take you and give you up to the rain of ice, 

Your heart has been shielded from the love that I gave, 

I watch, with silence on my lips and yelling in my soul, 

I listen, to the tattered voices and the screaming pain, 

I hear, all the whispers of the life going on around you, 

I feel, the seasons of the years gone by, 

I know, that no matter how hard you try, 

The mask you put on a long time ago, 

Won't give up its place, It won't give up your soul. 

Getting passed over!

Doesn't it just suck when you get passed over for a promotion? You know you've done your job, know the all the aspects, ins and outs for the available promotion, and know you've done everything needed to obtain the position, but still get passed over? You have the experience, you have the knowledge, but still someone less qualified gets the promotion.

This happened recently to someone I know. He deserved the position, earned it too. Started from the bottom, sweeping floors, and doing general labor, then worked up to a lead position, then to a supervisor position, then to foreman position. And when the opportunity comes to be able to get the Operation's Manager position, the company interviews him, then flies someone in from Cali at the last minute and gives the damn job to them. Like my friend didn't work his butt off for this position. Like my friend lacks the knowlege or know how to adequately perform the duties of the position. Who would be better as the Operation's Manager then the person who started from the bottom of the company? Who has more knowlege of how everything operates and runs between customers, shipping, recieving, and all the products then the person who worked their butt off from the bottom? The person from Cali that has no actualy knowlege of what you are working with? The person who lives in a different state and hasn't had the hands on experience of working within the company, with it's employees, and customers, and equipment? I don't think so.

My last post was related to this one in being that the last one was about job hunting and being passed over for a position you interviewed for because of nervousness or some other such silly thing.

But this latest fiasco, because to me that's exactly what it is, boggles my mind. It bothers me because I have seen first hand how hard my friend worked for this company. And they bring some unknown person in to do the job that he can do blindfolded?!! To me that tells me the company has no care for it's employees and their hard work. They don't care that you started at the bottom and worked hard, missing time with family, and friends so that you can prove that you are a dedicated employee. They don't care how much time you've put in with the company. 6 years of hard work, dedication, hours and hours of doing work at home, Missing birthday's, Anniversaries, school functions with his children, and still they give the job he perform better then the guy leaving it to someone that has no clue as to the daily functions of this business and the businesses working with it.

I am tired of seeing people who strive and strive constantly get bent over and screwed for no other reason then because it's fun for the company. I don't think companies know how to treat their hard working employee's anymore. They promote slackers, and people who get other people to do their job, so that they can get the credit for it. But all the hard working people like the single mothers who have to miss a few days because of sick children, or the single father who misses time with his kids because he is trying to advance within the company, or the elderly person who moves just a little slow, but meets all the deadlines. These people need their jobs, they need to know that they matter, and all companies seem to look for now are the people who don't mind stepping on someone to get ahead.

Now not all companies do this. I'm ranting about a lost opportunity for a friend. And all the people who get stepped on by the slackers, and the money hungry suits, or the people who are struggling to find the job they need with the pay they deserve, so that they can adequately provide for their family.

I'm talking about the people who have to have state assistance just to make ends meat, and get judged because of it. Not everyone who recieves state assistance is lazy or doesn't want to work. Sometimes they are working hard to find a job, or are working but don't make enough to pay rent, or feed their children, and they need help.

It sickens me that so many people are so quick to judge someone based on appearance, or having to have state assistance, or some other stupid thing that they don't take the time to learn the person, or realize that everyone has struggles.

It sickens me that companies would rather hire some random person to do a job, then hire someone who they know is qualified for the position. They would rather hire someone that has taken credit for someone else's work then hire someone honest, trustworthy, dependable, reliable, hard working. Companies say they want someone who is those things, but they promote and or hire people that aren't remotely qualified.

There is an optical position in baytown, and I see their ad at least once a month for the same position. So, because I have optical experience I've emailed my resume, I've even faxed it, but I never hear anything back. Then almost like clockwork I see the same ad, for the same place, and the same position.

But really what can you do but keep trying right?

Hijacking not the worst I've suffered in my life, & telling my story could be offensive.

There is a strong possibility that if I told my whole story, that there would be quite a few people that were offended by it. By the language used, by scenes of my childhood depicted. But there is also a chance that it may be able to help someone going through something similar, that they aren't alone. That it's possible to be "normal" after having endured such things. Abuse is abuse, no matter how you try and paint it in a different light, you still see abuse. No matter the setting, the person, or the situation, abuse is still abuse. There are different types of abuse, Verbal, physical, sexual, all which in turn cause emotional damage, and are forms of emotional abuse. I've suffered them all. And I am still alive, strong and able. I can tell my story and not worry about the few that may be offended, or I can sit back silently like I have for years, wondering if in fact I was to tell my whole story if I could have helped someone. It's a hard decision to share details of your life so intimate that they could ultimately destroy you, and maybe even those you love. And there are risks involved. Things that could be told that may hurt someone else, maybe even someone I love deeply or dearly, inadvertently. I find myself asking these questions. Am I willing to take the risks? Does my husband love me enough to endure the possibility of criticism that may come from telling my story? Would my children be embarrassed by the things that I have gone through being public knowledge? Would I be able to help even 1 person by telling my story? Would it be beneficial to the people who go through the same things, or similar things to know that they aren't alone? Do the benefits of helping, out way the risks to my family?
I think if I was alone, single without children, I wouldn't worry about the risks, because I would be taking them alone, like every bad thing that ever happened to me, I would deal with it alone. But now that I have 6 children, and a common law husband, so the risks have to be accessed. They have to be analyzed. They have to be weighed. It's a hard decision, to contemplate the outcome based on the few who may be hurt or embarrassed, with the benefit of possibly helping many who are suffering similar fates. Not a decision to be taken lightly. Something I will have to think with my mind, heart, and soul. Because it would be a life changing experience, for everyone involved.
~Dorothy Baker