Get it while you can!

The newest scent in our Jewelry in Candles Line up! LILAC!! 6 hours till you can order it, and I'd hurry up, so you can get it while supplies last!!! Click the link, or copy and paste it in your browser!

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents/image/cache/data/product-images/lilac_candle-800x600.png

MAKE MONEY!!! EASY WORK!!!

Want to supplement your income? Make easy money doing easy work? Click here No personal info needed!
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Frankincense & Myrrh!

Nothing says Christmas like Frankincense and Myrrh! The scents that bring memories! And depending on your religious beliefs, where 2 of the scents that two of the three wisemen brought baby Jesus on the night he was born! So why not celebrate the "old fashioned" way by lighting the new fragrant scent of Frankincense and Myrrh! And as always half of the commission made will go to a charity, like Toys for Tots!


https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents/p/119/new-frankincense-and-myrrh/

Pumpkin pie? Nope Pumpkin Souffle!! OH YEAH!!!

You love pumpkin pie right? Maybe you're like me and like the smell but not the pie, or the hassle that it takes from making it from scratch? Then why not get one of these Pumpkin Souffle candles from Jewelry in Candles? At Jewelry in Candles they combine amazingly delectable smelling candles, with gorgeously stunning jewelry, to create a unique product that allows you to choose if you want a necklace, a pair of earrings, or even a ring, and you can select your size!! How bout that!! So go check it out! You won't regret it, and I bet if you order one, you'll make that someone special smile, because it's like getting two gifts in one! (Even if that someone special is you!!)


https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents/p/79/new-pumpkin-candle/

NEW!! Gift idea, special gifts! (I'm trying to help my family supplement our income)

Hey all, it's getting to be that time of year again. You know the time where kids ask for every toy they see of TV and all the electronics they see advertised, or that they know their friends have. And in this time we do what we can to give our children the best Christmas possible. So that is what I am trying to do here. I've started up a business that may help me supplement my families income to help with normal expenses (because having 6 kids and only one working parent is really getting rough.) and even help with Christmas for my kids. If I can make enough money!
Last year my children received toys and clothes that were given to us by helpful strangers. I was very blessed last year to have people help me give my children a decent Christmas. And again this year my family is trying to give our children a good Christmas, not just an okay one. Yes I understand that my family is blessed to have each other, but if you have children, and you have ever had to see that sad, look, the tears and the hurt of waking up on Christmas day thinking that Santa must have come last night, even though there weren't any presents anywhere near the small tree that was in the corner of the dining room next to the table, only to find that there is only one present for you, and not the five things you asked Santa for.

You see, my children get to write a list of five and only FIVE things that they would like most for Christmas, and none of them can be electronics. So when you see the hurt in your children's eyes (even though we told them Santa didn't have a lot of money but he would try his best) it hurts your heart.

The business is called Jewelry in Candles. And you pick your scented candle, then either select earrings, necklace, or ring, and if you choose ring, you can specify your ring size! Then once you get your candle, just burn the candle and out will pop your foil wrapped jewelry. This candle is safe and non toxic, made from soy, so it burns clean and has a longer burn time, and is environmentally friendly!

This is very different then any other candle out there, because although there are other companies that put jewelry in the candle (and they are more expensive too!!) we are the only company that allows you to select your ring size! So your ring fits perfectly when you get it!

It makes a perfect gift for the special someone or someone's in your life. They are beautiful, and the surprise makes it all the better.

So if you would, please click on the link, it is McAfee safe and secure, and browse my selection, and maybe if you want to help my help my family, you can order something!

Thanks so much!!

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/dorothy_baker_decadent_scents

UPDATE: Ran over Attacker with Van

I just wanted to update everyone on my attack back in June 2013. The case will go to trial. The attacker (Ismael Martinez) is looking at 25 to Life because this is his third offense. The trial date hasn't been set as of yet, but it will go through proceedings in about 6 months (they are really backed up in court!!!) Then the trial will start in about a year or so. 

This has been a horrendous experience for myself and my family and especially my two young children who were with me at the time. And this will not end now. Maybe when the trial is over, and I really don't know how long that could take, then we can officially heal. I know until this is all over, I will continue to glance back out of paranoia whenever I hit that part of the street when he popped up in the back of my van. I will continue to see his face in my rear view mirror looking around to make sure we aren't followed. I will still hear his voice telling me to do what he says or he'll hurt my children. I may always have reservations about it. I know that I am more aware of my surroundings, and even more wary of people. But if I've learned anything from this, it's to stay calm, be aware of the details, because you never know what may be needed or how they can affect the situation, and always, always check your vehicle before getting in.

New update on my attack.

So in case anyone who follows me was wondering, I have the latest update on my attack.

I talked to the Assistant DA for Harris County. Very nice lady. But I'll go out on a limb here and say that she isn't nice if you are on the wrong side! Anyways, she had called me and left me a message. I got in touch with her and she told me that Ismael Martinez was in fact out of the hospital, but not in custody. Which put me in a state of panic actually. Which was in the message itself. I couldn't sleep at all the other night. As opposed to any other night where I can only seem to get about 4 hours sleep. The rest of the night I'm either getting up to check the locks on the doors, trying to find out what a specific noise was in the house, or just lying there staring at the ceiling. or squeezing my eyes shut hoping that I will eventually fall back asleep. Right...back on track. So she asked me to tell her about what happened. First I asked her if it was being recorded. Then I asked her what side she was on. Cause sometimes the Prosecutor has certain feelings about the defendant, and in his case some might feel sorry for him. IDK, but I know it has happened before. So, then she told me that he wasn't in custody at the moment, but they were working on getting him into custody. Since he is permanently paralyzed and is confined to a wheel chair they had to have a special task force apprehend him.

I was still shaking when I hung up with her. Because she wasn't sure when they would get him into custody. Needless to say I didn't go anywhere Wednesday. Of course I've been avoiding having to go anywhere unless I absolutely need to. I still don't like to drive my van, I've even taken to talking to non-existent persons' in my car, (and I know they are non-existent, because I've checked my van and there was no one in it but me) and told them that if they didn't want to end up like the last guy that got into my car and attacked me, I'd advise them to exit now. Of course my brain is arguing with itself, one side is saying "hey you know there's no one in the car idiot" while the other side is saying, "what if you didn't check well enough and someone pops up in your car again?" So I'm constantly at war with myself thinking that I'll get attacked again, continuously looking over my shoulder, leery of people who smile to wide at me, or stare at me or my kids too long for my taste. I mean I think I'm really bordering on freakin paranoia and I can't stop it. It sucks. But right back to the update.

Then I received an email yesterday telling me that he was in custody. The DA said she would try and get this to trial as soon as possible. I asked her why it would go to trial and she told me that this is his third offense and he is looking at 25 to life. And that she will push for the longest sentence possible. And the soonest trial date, because she is sure it's going to go to trial. And yes I will have to testify. Which is freaking me out more then I already am. I've had crap happen to me, my father molested me, among other things, but I didn't have to go to trial for him, because he confessed after 6 months in jail, and got out for time served. Can you believe it, after 7 years of  my going through hell, he got 6 months. UGH anyways. I don't really want to see this man again, but in order to put him in jail, I will have to put a brave face on and tell my story! And then hope that the Defense Attorney doesn't try to eat me alive. But I'll handle it when that happens, just like I handle everything else in my life. I mean If I can handle being molested and beaten, then adopted, and supposed to be protected, then molested, raped, treated like a prostitute, beaten, thrown into foster care, an ex who tried to sell me to some guy on the street for $10 bucks when I was 19 and pregnant with his kid, almost dying in child birth TWICE, and being beat up by previous b/f's AND being attacked by this guy, I think I'll be able to handle the Defense Attorney. Right?? 

But it makes me wonder, if God only makes you deal with what he KNOWS you can handle.......does he think I'm freaking super woman? Or is there some kind of lesson I'm missing and I just keep getting handed this shit? I mean if I absorbed the message, and learned from it, then I really wonder what else he will throw at me and say "HERE CATCH THIS SHIT!" 

I also wonder, when is my breaking point?

Racism and Intolerance

Note: These are my beliefs, my thoughts, the way I feel and not to be mistaken for anyone elses. If you agree great if not that's fine too. I know I have friends who have a variety of preferences as well as religious beliefs, so if you are easily offended please DO NOT READ.

I wrote this after I read an article on how gays were intolerant, and how they were destroying the "sanctity of marriage". It pissed me off if I'm being honest! I was frustrated at how my children were treated. How I was treated because I was dating a black man, then the schools didn't honor Martin Luther Kings birthday. I had had enough. So I wrote this and sent it to the editor of the Sidney Sun, our local newspaper at the time. The editor called me and told me they wanted to publish it, it was perfect, and since Martin Luther Kings birthday was the following week it would be a great time to publish it. This article reached people from all over Nebraska, and all the way to Denver Colorado. I am very proud of this. It was longer, but they shortened it so that they could publish it in one print. So you are getting the edited version!

"Dear Editor,

I was reading the newspaper Dec. 26 and found the article called “The Gay Community is Intolerant, Too” interesting. It was well written to say the least. Kudos to the writer!! It also got me thinking about the things that I have had to go through. I am a white women married to a black man. Our children are mixed race. My family moved here for peace and quiet, but the people here make me want to move. I have never experienced more disdain, contempt and outright hatred and racism as I have here in Sidney. Now, not all of the people here are like that. There are many who have not treated us like we are beneath them, they have treated us like “ordinary people.” Then there are those who have told my daughter they don’t want to be her friend because she is not “white” enough. Six-year-old children are telling my daughter this. There are those who know my husband is black and still have the audacity to use the “N” word around my family, thinking we will be OK with it. I have been called “N” lover, and my children have been called “negrites,” – a word for those of the bi-racial background. In Sidney, where black people are few are far between, people still have the nerve to use the “N” word! People are being taught that blacks are an inferior race, one beneath whites. Here in Sidney – where there are more whites then there are any race – shouldn’t National Black History Month and Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday be celebrated just they are in the other 49 states? Martin Luther King, Jr. Day was supposed to be observed in ALL 50 states in 2006! And yet here, it is not celebrated? Just because there are few black people in Sidney does not mean they should not learn about their background. Don’t you think that white children have the right to know what their race put others races through?  Don’t you think that our children need to know what their ancestors did because they thought the darker-skinned were less of a people? No matter where we go, there will be people who can’t stand that my family is of mixed ethnicity. But to come to a small town that says it prides itself on family values and then teaches its children its okay to hate black people and that it’s okay to use the “N” word is not family values at all. That is racism. However small people may think it is, it is still racism, and it still hurts. I have written that to say this: Intolerance is not just for the religious or the gay or lesbian. I am intolerant of racism. I am intolerant of ignorance. Ignorance is not bliss. It is handed down from generation to generation. It can be fixed by education, education of history – all history. Intolerance, on the other hand, is not easily overcome. It is something that we have to live with. Some people do not tolerate liars, sexual predators, thieves, or murderers just as some people don’t tolerate religious people, and some people don’t tolerate gays and lesbians. We all have something that we do not tolerate, and if your preference is the same sex, or if you prefer black men to white men – or black women to white women – or if you believe in something or not doesn’t make you right or wrong. It just makes it your preference or your opinion. It is not a standard that has to be won or lost. You cannot force someone to believe or think the way you do. You can only state your opinion and let them state theirs. If in the end you do not agree, then you agree to disagree!! When the (Dec. 26) column’s writer stated, “someone’s standard has to win,” I believe he was incorrect. Being gay or lesbian is not a standard. It is a choice for some – something they may feel they need to be. Just as being religious is a choice that you can’t force on an individual! Being gay is not contagious, nor is being religious. By being gay or religious you live by different standards, yes, but neither one has to win. The gay and lesbian community is not trying to “hijack” anything. They just want to be treated fairly, just as the African Americans did during the slave days and the civil rights movement. Just because they want to be viewed as equals and have the right to marry who they wish does not make it right or wrong!! It does not mean that they are trying to steal something sacred. Let’s be honest – about 95 percent of the people that get married end up divorced in the first five to 10 years anyway, so what would they really be “hijacking”? The fact they are able to carry the same last name for however long they are able to stand each other? Or maybe the very religious are afraid of change in their own group and don’t want to incorporate the people that don’t think, act, walk, talk, and believe like them? I just don’t think that you are hurting anyone by being religious – or by being gay or lesbian. That is a personal thing. There is just a lack of communication here! Like I said, intolerance is not something you get over. It is handed down from generation to generation, just like ignorance! Just like racism. And while your writer has his opinion on the intolerance of the gay community, these are my opinions on the article he wrote and racism in Sidney."

As you can see, I was frustrated! Although any feedback you would like to give me would be great! And try to be contructive with the criticism! :) Thanks all!

Daughter needs help making sales for school fundraiser! Anyone interested in helping?

Okay my friends and Google familia, I know someone can help my daughter out! Please! She is trying to raise money for the fundraiser at school. She is really excited to be given an opportunity to help her school raise money. Plus she can earn prizes and even get invited to the "Party of the Year" at her school. 

You can help her out by clicking on the link and buying something, anything! They have lots of stuff under $11.00! So please, click on the link, buy something and help her out!  I would forever appreciate your help! Thanks!! 
(All orders have to be paid for by the 21.Sept.13)

https://www.cherrydale.com/go_shopping.php?refid=89497

Book rewrite............... and Poetry Night

So here I am blogging.....instead of continuing to write my book. I've noticed lately I am lacking the inspiration I need to continue this paranormal book I am writing. I've become so discouraged that I am thinking of starting all over, and creating a whole other world instead of writing the story with characters on a damaged Earth. Seems like the ideas in my head aren't really co-existing with this damaged Earth I have pictured in my head. So maybe the best thing to do is to start over. I don't know.

While I ponder that, here's a story for you. lol

 I was talking with an acquaintance of mine about starting a poetry reading at the local coffee shop thing they have here in Baytown. It's called Cork Grinders. They have live music, and great coffee, and wine's and other delectables. I think it would be a good way for avid writers, fans of poetry, lovers of lyrics, to be able to express their emotions, views and opinions. Especially if they aren't musically talented.

And as I am thinking of this, I'm trying to envision a poetry reading atmosphere. It's not hard really. I'm a writer, I can invent all kinds of scenarios for books, real life shouldn't be that hard, right? Wrong. As I contemplate the type of things that would be needed to make the person at the mic comfortable, I am at a loss. I mean I know what would make me comfortable if I was at a mic, but then what is good for the goose isn't necessarily good for the gander. So I stumble with this. Which only makes me frustrated. I really despise being frustrated or upset. I try to remain calm in all situations, but I guess when it's personal, or means a lot to me it tends to bother me rather quickly. But maybe it's that way for everyone.

So since we are talking about poetry this blog, here is a little piece that I wrote that was published in a local newspaper in Nebraska, I thought about reading it if they ever do decide to have the poetry reading at Cork Grinders. Give me some feedback if you would! I'd appreciate it! And follow me for more poetry!

THE MASK

You crawled into my mind, 

and stayed there like a shadow, 

You slithered your way into my life, 

Making it seem like I chose you, 

funny how you could disguise yourself, 

when I have x-ray glasses, 

But they couldn't see through your facade, 

or hear the lies you carefully planted, 

The mask you wear has grown into your face, 

making it impossible for you to tell what is real, 

You walk around like the king of the world, 

Thinking that everyone is in the wrong, 

You can wear that crown of dirt and grime, 

Just so you can feel in control of my mind, 

You see visions bouncearound my head, 

Bold colors of red and the passions of purple, 

life full ofbrilliant greens and dull grey, 

you can see my heart but know not how to proceed, 

here are the directions to the destination you want to obtain, 

make a left at the corner of I don't think so, 

and then try going north on not on your life, 

then take the road that says get the hell outta here, 

Will I ever be this foolish again, 

as to think that love is a precious thing, 

between two people who try to be what they are not, 

to think that no matter what my circumstances are, 

that it can be allowed to enter into the doorway of another's life, 

While My mind has colors galore, 

My heart tends to be laying on the shore of where do I go now, 

waters of tomorrow are lapping at my feet, 

while I contemplate the life's lesson, my defeat, 

Crystallized skies and over powering moons, given time, 

will come to find no appreciation on this world, 

the creams and pinks and gorgeous purple hues, 

are blinding my heart and tearing up my life, 

I tried to help but all I can see is that, 

You let it eat up the love you had inside you, 

You let it take you and give you up to the rain of ice, 

Your heart has been shielded from the love that I gave, 

I watch, with silence on my lips and yelling in my soul, 

I listen, to the tattered voices and the screaming pain, 

I hear, all the whispers of the life going on around you, 

I feel, the seasons of the years gone by, 

I know, that no matter how hard you try, 

The mask you put on a long time ago, 

Won't give up its place, It won't give up your soul. 

House Hunting NIGHTMARE!!!!

Well, to say this is somewhat of a disaster would be an understatement. Baytown TX has little to offer in matters of legality, and honesty when it comes to searching for a house to rent. Oh people are honest enough about the reasons they don't want to rent to you, but those reasons aren't always legal. I mean you could take them to court under the Fair Housing Act, and bring up the housing laws, but then why would you want to rent to someone who is biased about the number of children you have, or racist about the nationality and racial background of your spouse or child?

My family and I have 6 children, many who read my blog will eventually become tired of my repetition of this aspect of my life. But it is necessary to make my point. Our children are bi-racial. And I know that this was a problem back in Sidney Nebraska where we used to live, didn't think this would be a problem in the south. But apparently it is.

Not only is the racial background of my children and husband a problem, so is the amount of children we have. Legally, according to the Housing Laws a family of 8 can rent a house that has 4 bedrooms, and 2 baths, and not violate any housing laws.

But apparently no one who rents the houses we need are wanting to allow us to rent their home. We pay our rent on time, my children are decent kids, and don't tear up things. We take care of house we are currently in (despite the many maintenance problems our current landlord won't bother fixing) but we will get to that fiasco later.

Is it too much to ask to be able to rent a house, that is in good shape, has adequate insulation, nothing leaks, and has 4 beds and 2 baths? I mean hell, we'll even settle for a carport instead of a garage. We'd like a yard so our kids can play, preferably fenced, but hey if not we'll fence the yard ourselves.

But this is hard. Everyone wants to rent a huge 4 bd house to people who don't need that much room. Or to people with 1.2 kids, ya know?! Whereas, my family and I are trying to make due in a small, 3 bd house that is around 1200sqft. Not a lot of room at all. No car port, no garage, and we have a hole in our ceiling where the A/C leaks. And when I say leak, I mean I have a 2.5 gallon bucket underneath it, and I have to empty the thing 2 times a days. Not to mention the mold growing around our air vents, and not being able to use half the stove because the ceiling is falling down onto it. Don't want to be cooking and have plaster in my dinner ya know?!!

So, we've been searching for a house for going on 4 months now. We have a set price we can afford and so far everything we have looked at, I've either gotten, I rented it to someone else, or I don't want to rent to you because of how many kids you have. WTH? We are dealing with a hole in the ceiling, mold, black mold at that, and it's only a matter of time until the entire ceiling in the kitchen falls down. Our electric bill is over $500 a month for the past 3 months because of the hole, and the fact that the roof and attic aren't properly insulated.

I hate complaining. I really honestly do, but when you have mold growing on your ceiling, around the air vents in the kitchen bathroom, master closet and the wood on the attic, and a hole in the ceiling, plus massive leakage, and you have little children, you don't want to live in the house anymore. For safety and health issues. And does our landlord care? No, he came to "fix" the ceiling, and the A/C so that it wouldn't leak, and all he did was put a bigger pan next to the smaller pan in the attic to catch the leak, which didn't do a thing for the leak. He didn't patch the ceiling, but he did give us a piece of like flat insulation, that you would put I guess next to a window or a/c, to nail to the ceiling after it dried out. And that was his idea of "fixing" the problem, he said he would come back to take another look at it, but I haven't heard anything. And I haven't seen him, that was two weeks ago, and 3 days after the ceiling fell to the floor. We've been dealing with the leak for about 6 months now, and it's only gotten worse.

So we look for a house. Our credit isn't the best, so we avoid Realtors. We always pay our rent between the 1st and the 5th of each month. We take care of the yard, and try not to bother the landlord much, unless there is a serious problem. Our kids help take care of the house, they don't write on the walls, or punch holes anywhere, the blinds are a different story, but those are easy to replace. Kids are steady looking out the window, and I don't mind replacing the blinds. Almost everywhere you look you'll see those cheap plastic blinds that cost about $5 bucks, in the windows.

The only thing stopping us from being able to move are the people who are renting the houses. I've seen I know at least 20 houses. First I started with 3 bedroom houses, because all the 4 beds were out of our price range! I mean c'mon 4 bd 2 bth but only 1600sgft, and rent is $1500 a month? That's almost a dollar a square foot! Jeez! But I mention 6 kids and people scurry like roaches when the lights come on. So I said find I'll say four kids, (I hate lying, I'm not good at it at all, but we need to move, so necessary evil). Even then people scurried, although not a fast as they did when I said 6. I even called the same lady twice about one house, and changed the number of my kids, and she still said it was too many!! I mean c'mon people, they are KIDS, not freaking criminals or sex offenders. I mean you don't mind them living next to you, or renting your house, but a family, who works hard, has adequate income, not the best credit, and 6 kids you won't let rent your house?? Seriously, am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?

Okay, after about 7 houses turning us down because of our child ratio, we decided to finally move on to 4 bed houses. But finding one in the $900-$1200 price range.....not so easy. Trulia has houses galore, but most of the are from $1400-$3200 a month! Who can really afford $3200 a month now? Certainly not my family.

So just recently, like yesterday actually, I looked at a 4 bed 2 bath house here in Baytown. The lady who showed it to me, rushed through the house, and didn't really care to hear what I said. The rent was a great price, apparently they were professional landlords. Okay not a biggie, but when I asked her about the application process, she told me she shows the house to several people, and picks the one she likes best! What is this a popularity contest? I mean shouldn't you rent to people based on the ability to pay the rent? Or rent to the person able to give you the deposit first? So again I heard I'll make a decision this evening, and she had me write my name and number down on a paper, and when I did, I saw she has a big star next to the only other person on the paper. I figured she must have really liked this lady, so I knew then and there I wasn't going to get the house because even though she showed it to me, she didn't talk to me, ask me any valid questions to get to know the type of person I was, other then to ask how many kids I had, and I knew she had made her decision. When I didn't hear from her I gave her a call and left a message. She called me back and said that someone else rented the house. I thought okay you made your pick before I even saw the house. So I thanked her for her time and hung up. Even more disappointed then when I saw the star on that damn paper. Because I thought maybe just maybe she might pick my family to rent her house. Because we are in desperate need of a house, the price was right, but it just wasn't meant to be.

It's funny how people will say good things to you when you are in a bad situation, or try to be nice when you are feeling bad about something not going through. They always say, it wasn't meant to be, or something better will come along. And you sit there and look at them like, really? WHEN??? And how do you know? It gets irritating after hearing it for 6 months. Really irritating. As a matter of fact so does the continual disappointment of not being able to rent a house because of my family's race or the amount of children we have. So what we have 6 kids, all of whom are half black and half white? So what my husband is black and I am white? Who are you to judge us??? But that's what renting is about right? They either judge you based on the color of your skin, or the amount of children you have, or your background, or your credit score. It's all a matter of being judged, just each potential landlord has their own particular way of judging you.

I get frustrated enough to throw my hand up and say "Fk it" but I don't. I keep pushing, keep searching, keep praying that we will find a better house, a bigger house, and soon. So really what else can we do but continue, and maybe even sometimes complain?

Happy HUNTING!!!! *yeah right*

Getting passed over!

Doesn't it just suck when you get passed over for a promotion? You know you've done your job, know the all the aspects, ins and outs for the available promotion, and know you've done everything needed to obtain the position, but still get passed over? You have the experience, you have the knowledge, but still someone less qualified gets the promotion.

This happened recently to someone I know. He deserved the position, earned it too. Started from the bottom, sweeping floors, and doing general labor, then worked up to a lead position, then to a supervisor position, then to foreman position. And when the opportunity comes to be able to get the Operation's Manager position, the company interviews him, then flies someone in from Cali at the last minute and gives the damn job to them. Like my friend didn't work his butt off for this position. Like my friend lacks the knowlege or know how to adequately perform the duties of the position. Who would be better as the Operation's Manager then the person who started from the bottom of the company? Who has more knowlege of how everything operates and runs between customers, shipping, recieving, and all the products then the person who worked their butt off from the bottom? The person from Cali that has no actualy knowlege of what you are working with? The person who lives in a different state and hasn't had the hands on experience of working within the company, with it's employees, and customers, and equipment? I don't think so.

My last post was related to this one in being that the last one was about job hunting and being passed over for a position you interviewed for because of nervousness or some other such silly thing.

But this latest fiasco, because to me that's exactly what it is, boggles my mind. It bothers me because I have seen first hand how hard my friend worked for this company. And they bring some unknown person in to do the job that he can do blindfolded?!! To me that tells me the company has no care for it's employees and their hard work. They don't care that you started at the bottom and worked hard, missing time with family, and friends so that you can prove that you are a dedicated employee. They don't care how much time you've put in with the company. 6 years of hard work, dedication, hours and hours of doing work at home, Missing birthday's, Anniversaries, school functions with his children, and still they give the job he perform better then the guy leaving it to someone that has no clue as to the daily functions of this business and the businesses working with it.

I am tired of seeing people who strive and strive constantly get bent over and screwed for no other reason then because it's fun for the company. I don't think companies know how to treat their hard working employee's anymore. They promote slackers, and people who get other people to do their job, so that they can get the credit for it. But all the hard working people like the single mothers who have to miss a few days because of sick children, or the single father who misses time with his kids because he is trying to advance within the company, or the elderly person who moves just a little slow, but meets all the deadlines. These people need their jobs, they need to know that they matter, and all companies seem to look for now are the people who don't mind stepping on someone to get ahead.

Now not all companies do this. I'm ranting about a lost opportunity for a friend. And all the people who get stepped on by the slackers, and the money hungry suits, or the people who are struggling to find the job they need with the pay they deserve, so that they can adequately provide for their family.

I'm talking about the people who have to have state assistance just to make ends meat, and get judged because of it. Not everyone who recieves state assistance is lazy or doesn't want to work. Sometimes they are working hard to find a job, or are working but don't make enough to pay rent, or feed their children, and they need help.

It sickens me that so many people are so quick to judge someone based on appearance, or having to have state assistance, or some other stupid thing that they don't take the time to learn the person, or realize that everyone has struggles.

It sickens me that companies would rather hire some random person to do a job, then hire someone who they know is qualified for the position. They would rather hire someone that has taken credit for someone else's work then hire someone honest, trustworthy, dependable, reliable, hard working. Companies say they want someone who is those things, but they promote and or hire people that aren't remotely qualified.

There is an optical position in baytown, and I see their ad at least once a month for the same position. So, because I have optical experience I've emailed my resume, I've even faxed it, but I never hear anything back. Then almost like clockwork I see the same ad, for the same place, and the same position.

But really what can you do but keep trying right?

Job Hunting - stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Wow. Finding a job in this economy is like trying to find the hay in a needle stack. It's hard work. Seriously, it's a job in itself just looking for a job, and applying to various companies, going to different websites, filling out a profile for staffing agency, only to never be called in for an interview, and then if you do get called in you do your best and get passed over. People are competitive, jobs want more from their employees while paying less. People who may be good for a particular position are being passed over because they get nervous in an interview, while people who ace the interview get a job, then do a lousy one, lose it and the employer is back at the starting line looking for someone to fill in the position yet again. Then they get tougher and tougher in the interview, have stricter guidelines regarding what they want. And still the person who has more life experience, and hands on experience will be looked over because of lack of education, or a nervous interview.

I've put in application after application with various companies, with either no reply at all, or a simple automated email telling me that they found someone with "better qualifications". I've even put in at fast food places, where they tell me (since I have NO experience in this area, considering my first job was an administrative one) that I am overqualified. So here I am, over-qualified for fast food, and under-qualified for apparently everything else I've applied for. I've a background in trucking admin, child care, optometry, and general and extensive administrative duties.  This leaves me baffled, and frustrated. I rewrote my resume several times, changed formats, from professional, to a timeline format, to a general basic resume, and still nothing. I have several gaps in my employment where I either moved or was taking care of my children, as it was economically more feasible to do so because of the rising cost of child care, and the low wages.
I have no criminal background, can pass a drug test, and have a good work ethic I believe. But still nothing pans out. Here child care wants you to pay out the butt for child care, and pay their employee's minimum wage. No one can survive on minimum wage unless they are living rent free with their parents and have no children to take care of. No one can work part time and survive. Sure you could have 2 part time jobs to equal one full time one, but then the stress factor goes up by more then 50%.

I know other people have this issue, of trying to find a job, and coming up empty handed, and leaving an interview feeling great only to find you just didn't fit the bill. But what really annoys the hell out of me, is to hear someone complain about their job constantly. All I think, and have said, is that they better be lucky and feel blessed that they even have their job, because if they hate it that much, quit and give it to someone who would actually know what a blessing it is to have a job  in this economy.

I have 6 children to take care of, and while my husband does a great job providing financially, I would really like to contribute to our finances. I would really like to take some of the burden off of him. But with jobs being 30 minutes to an hour away, and paying $8.00-$10.00 an hour, there is no point. Because when you add gas at $3.30 a gallon, on a 17 gallon tank, add the cost of child care for 2 children, ages 1, and 2, while you make about $400 a week, it doesn't do any good.

Say you make $10.00 an hour, work a 40 hour week, so gross pay is $400 a month, net pay would be probably around $320 or less a week. But, you have to drive 45 minutes to get to work, and you have a 17 gallon gas tank, not a hybrid or anything like that. It takes $56.00 to fill up your tank, and you have to fill it up twice a week, so that cost is around $115.00 a week.

Then the cheapest child care you could find was $120 a week per child, which adds up to $240 a week, so you take that add it to the gas and you have $355 a week. So all in all you are going to work to put gas in your car and your children in child care. Doesn't pay right?

This is the problem I am facing. There are NO admin jobs in Baytown, that are hiring day shift, and pay more then minimum wage. All the positions available are in Houston, and have a long drive, and aren't worth the pay in the long run.

So you tell me, how do I find a job, after re-writing my resume, applying just about everywhere, and trying to stay close enough to make enough money to pay bills, and still have money to help with finances at home?
Quite the dilemma I have. I'm hoping soon I will have a solution to this conundrum I face.

Kids aren't scared, the parents are.

If you are easily offended by the opinions of others, please skip to the next blog. I won't sugar coat my thoughts or feelings here.

I'd really like to understand why parents think they need to be afraid. It boggles my mind to think that the reason kids are the way they are is because the parents are afraid to discipline their kids. In my best Larry the Cable guy/Mater voice, "That's funny right there!"

You see, I was raised to respect my elders, no matter if I thought they deserved my respect or not. I was a child, I wasn't the adult, so I had rules to follow. I was taught to say "yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir, please, thank you, & may I". I was taught to speak when entering someone elses home. To understand that not everything I think has to be said. That there is a time and a place to everything. My parents believed in whoopin my butt, their parents believed in it as well. I survived, so I figured my kids will too.

Now for those of you reading this that may have weak constitutions regarding disciplining your children, you may want to skip to the next blog, because I don't sugar coat a thing I believe in.

I am a firm believer in corporal punishment, or spanking, or whoopin my kids butts, when they misbehave. I don't tolerate liars, thieves, cheats, or disrespectful children. 

My children have chores...EVERYDAY. They don't get an allowance for doing their chores, they do them for free. Why would I pay them for doing something they are going to have to do for free when they are older? That makes no sense to me. I tell them that they have chores because when they are adults they will need to know how to take care of themselves. All my son's will learn how to cook, and not just the basics. They will know how to cook a meal with enough food for at least 7. 

I have always believed that if you spare the rod you will spoil the child. I see children everyday that are disrespectful to their parents, and other adults around them. 

Just the other day my children were watching the older movie "Problem Child 2" and saw how the kids were acting on the movie, when they came to me and said, "Mom if we ever talked to you like that kid, or acted like that kid you would whoop our buts." To which I replied,"If you ever talked to me like that child talked to his elders, when you got up off the floor you would realize what a mistake you made and apologize, and learn not to embarrass yourself or me again." And they agreed. My children know that I love them. But they also know that if they act like delinquents, then they better get ready to accept the consequences of their actions.

I think that if more parents whooped their children (or spank for those that prefer that term) then there would be less crime committed. If parents weren't afraid of their kids and the government getting involved, then kids would start to act like they had sense.

Who is the government to tell us how we can and can't raise our flesh and blood? Who are they to determine what is abuse and what is discipline? In the state of California it is illegal to smack your child if they are under the age of 6. (I am sooooooo glad I left California before this absurd law went into effect.) Why is it absurd you ask, well here's what I think. When you are raising your child, and they start to do something that could harm them, say they are 4, what is the automatic reaction? To tell them no, and tell them why. Right, but what if they repeatedly do what you are telling them not to do, because let's face it, that's what kids do? Well then you would smack them on the butt. But in California you aren't allowed to do that. You will get forcibly taken from your child and thrown into jail for up to a year for the first offence. Your child will be placed into foster care with strangers that may or may not treat them right, because I can tell you from first hand experience that most foster families care more about the money they get then the children they are supposed to protect. Then after you serve your allotted time in jail, you are forced to take parenting classes, and have supervised visits with your own child. So you tell me.......which is more distructive to the child, the smack on the butt, or the foster care and supervised visits? Yeah, that's what I thought. It's freaking ridiculous what we've allowed this government to control. 

I mean really, you want to call the cops on your child for threatening you with a knife or gun or some other thing, then have the officer come to your house and look at you like you are crazy, wondering why you never disciplined (aka whooped) your child? I personally don't. Why would I want that? So I can look sheepishly at the cop and think sorry officer, the "LAW" said I couldn't whoop my child, so now you have to deal with him/her. RIIIIIIIGHT. I don't freakin think so. I'd rather whoop my child and hear how mannerable and well behaved they are in public then have to deal with the looks of said law enforcement, and my child when they are hauled off to jail. To me personally that would make me a failure as a parent. Now not all children that go to jail are a result of the parents failings. Some actually just don't care. But personally, I've experienced first hand what happens when a child has no discipline, and is allowed to do whatever they want all the time. I dealt with that in one of my ex's. His parents had different views on parenting. His mother allowed him to do whatever he wanted, and gave in to everything he did, just so her son wouldn't get pissed off, and the father didn't believe in spanking his son. But their son tried to burn their house down buy locking them in and starting a fire, their son decided that it would be okay to beat the crap out of anyone who pissed him off, and the mother didn't like for him to be upset because of his anger issues. He is ADHD and Bi-Polar. But this doesn't excuse his behavior. He needed structure and discipline, not lack of structure and no discipline at all. This has resulted in his being in and out of jail since he was 14 and having no education at all. Not holding down a job, or taking any responsibility for his actions. He is 30 years old now and still blames everyone else for his being in jail. This isn't how you want your child to end up. 

When children were getting their a**es whooped back in the 50's and 60's you didn't see anyone complain about it did you? NO. You didn't see children killing other children in a fit of rage because they took their toy did you? NO. WHY? Because children were afraid of the consequences of thier actions, that's why. They weren't afraid of their parents, just the discipline that they incurred for doing the wrong they knew they weren't supposed to. Children cared about themselves and other people. They respected themselves and other people. 

Children now a days think they have it hard. That's BULLSHIT. They have it easier then I did, or even my parents did. They have iPhone's at age 9......WTH is up with that? Why would a 9 year old need a damn iPhone? Please tell me, because I just don't understand that. I didn't get my first cell phone until I was 19 and paid for it myself. We didn't have a game system for every room in the house. We didn't even have a TV for every room in the house, we only had 1 yes ONE TV. And we watched what my parents wanted to watch. Which happened to be a lot of news, weather, Star Trek, and Westerns. OH JOY!! LOL

I didn't sit around all day and play video games when it was hot outside, no I got my a** up and went outside. I didn't stay outside for 10 minutes then come back inside, because it was "too hot". Nope I stayed outside, and drank out of the water hose when I got thirsty. And I had fun doing it too.

I had chores, oh lord did I have chores! My family had animals and a couple acres. We had cows, pigs, goats, horses, ducks and chickens. I had to get up early to feed and water the animals. I watched them give birth, and knew how to.......neuter them. I rode a horse to the bus stop when I was in kindergarten. I could take care of the animals without help.  I knew how to cook when I was 10. I knew how to do laundry when I was 5. I could make my own breakfast and breakfast for my younger twin brothers. I grew up with something kids no nothing about these days....it's called "RESPONSIBILITY."

Funny concept, responsibility. It means you do things because they need to be done, whether you like it or not. For some people raising kids this has become an obsolete term. It has become something of a curse word. 

Parents who try to be their kids FRIEND really piss me off. If you were meant to be your childs friend you'd be the same age, going to the same school and taking the same classes. Seriously people, get it together. "Oh let's be friends sweetie, even though you are my daughter, we should be the best of friends." Makes me want to shake the crap outta them. 

For those of you that gasped and got offended, I guess that means your the "friend" instead of the parent, which means you might wanna pay close attention to what I say next.

Being a parent means that you have to make the hard choice. It means that sometimes you have to disappoint your child. They can't always have everything they want. There is no reason for them to have a phone, tablet, portable game system, and an mp3 player or iPod. That is excessive. It's ridiculous. Most kids aren't responsible enough these days to take care of themselves let alone the electronics they are given. 

My children have to earn everything they want. I, as a parent, take care of everything they need, such as clothes, shoes, food, a warm place to sleep, love, nurture, personal care all the things that are necessary for daily life. 


The things they want, like toys, games, phones, all the extra's that aren't pertinent to daily life, they have to earn. They have to earn them by getting good grades, doing their chores without being asked to do them, or doing extra things. Then if I feel like they can be responsible enough then they get one thing that they want.

For those of you that have read my blogs before you know I have 6 children. My oldest is my daughter who will be 12 in December! The time has just flown by. She is just now responsible enough to have a cell phone. So this birthday she will be getting one. This will piss my two oldest boys off no doubt, but when they turn 12 if they are responsible enough then they will get a phone too. 

My daughter gets mad at me because I won't let her do things that other kids are doing already. The latest thing is shaving her legs. I wonder what kind of parent lets their 11 year old shave her legs. Who is going to be worried about an 11 year old having hair on her legs? No one that you would want around your daughter anyways right? So my daughter thinks I'm being the meanest mother in the world for not letting her shave her legs. Do I care? NO. And before you think me heartless, let me tell you why I don't care. Because if I cared that she thought I was mean, not just my daughter but all my kids would be the most spoiled rotten, misbehaved brats the world has seen. You know, the ones in the store that throw that temper tantrum because they can't have that toy, the ones that scream at the top of their lungs because they can't have their way. NO way in HELL would I deal with that kind of disrespect. So no I don't care if my children think I'm mean. My point of view is this, if I'm being mean, I'm being the parent. My kids don't have facebook accounts, and won't until they are at least 15 or 16 because there are too many perverts out there who pretend to be someone they aren't and gain the trust of innocent children on facebook and other websites like that and then get the children to meet them so that they can hurt them. So NO my kids don't have websites and facebook pages and social pages of any kind. They aren't allowed to sit in front of the TV, or computer, or video games all day. They get their chores done and they have 1 hour of play time of their choice, then it's outside or family time. 

My children love me, they know I love them. When I discipline my children, they know why they are getting their butts whooped. They know that I don't like whooping them, but they haven't listened, they disrespected me, the rules, and themselves by divulging in the behavior they knew they weren't supposed to. 

I know kids are going to get into stuff they aren't supposed to, and before you get all shocked because I whoop my kids, let me tell you that those whoopings are few and far between. I always issue a warning first, then I either have them stand in the corner, or clean something they don't normally clean, like baseboards, or floors, or trash outside. Then the whooping will happen if these other things haven't worked. And most of the time I don't have to worry about that. I will whoop for stealing, lying, and cheating. I do not tolerate any of that period. 

My children know that they can talk to me. I will always listen. I won't prevent them from making choices, but I will advise against certain ones, because I know that my children will have to make their own mistakes and learn from them. 

At the age of 13 my children will start making more decisions on their own. I am going to do this because I feel that they need to know that some choices aren't the right ones. I can't protect them from themselves. No matter how much the mother in me wants to. My children are in no way perfect. They will fight with me, call me names behind my back, and probably even to my face, although that will only happen once, because when they get up off the floor the only thing they'll be saying to me is an apology.

Parents please don't be afraid to discipline your children. They need structure and guidance. They need you to tell them what is right, and what is wrong. They need to know that there are consequences for each of their actions. They need to know that they aren't allowed to do everything they want all the time. They need to know that there are limits and boundaries to what they can have and what they can do.  They need to respect their elders, and themselves. They need to have faith in themselves, and their parents. They need so much from you as a PARENT. You have a child, you weren't made to be their friend. You were blessed with a child so that you can teach and grow with your child. They didn't come with a rule book, or guidelines. But you know your child. You know what they are tempted to do when they get older because you probably did the same things when you were a kid. Just think about it.You as a parent have to learn how tightly to hold the reins on your child so that they grow and learn and understand the boundaries, without pulling too tightly on them so that they rebel and turn into the very thing you were trying so hard to prevent. You have to understand that they will make mistakes, they will not always understand what you are trying to instill in them. But when they are older, the kids whose parents disciplined them, and taught them, and nurtured them, will come back and say thank you. Because they will see the type of person they could have become if they got everything they always wanted, or they were allowed to do whatever they wanted. They need to be raised, not raise themselves. So PARENT your child, don't befriend them. If they needed another friend I promise, you would have been their age, not have had them born to you. 

We have values as a family. It's important to instill these values and beliefs into our children so that the rest of the world can deal with them. So that they grow to become respectable, responsible adults. I will always be proud of the great things my children do. And I will love them regardless of the wrongs they do. They will always be my babies, no matter how grown up they get.

So ends my rant about parents and discipline! :)

Babysitting.

I started babysitting a 6 yr old girl this week. And was not at all shocked that she said everything she thought, was rude,  disrespectful, hyper (although the hyper part wasn't a bother), and complained about almost everything, and wasn't aware of it. It's not her fault, it's her parents. I can't judge, because every family raises their children differently. But I did inform her mother that while she is staying with me she will follow the rules of my house. Which includes being respectful of myself; by saying "yes ma'am", "no ma'am", "please" "Thank you" and "May I", and those around her, complaining less, not being wasteful of food, and not saying everything that came into her head. Her mother was happy to hear this. The look on her face told me that she was having a hard time controlling the situation with her daughter. I found out why yesterday. 
Her daughter was playing on my Xbox 360 with my son. She wasn't very good at the game, but she was having fun. Her mother came to pick her up and she looked very tired. She was ready to go, and repeatedly asked her daughter to get her things, to which her daughter replied, after this game.  I let this go on for about 20 minutes, watching the interaction between mother and daughter, hoping that the mother would be more firm with her daughter. The mother was actually telling her daughter that she "would" help her clean the house today, and then told her it was time to go, for about the 12th time. This brought me to my breaking point, as the daughter started to reply "after this game" yet again, I interrupted and told her in a very firm voice (of course I used my "mommy voice") "Your mother is ready to go, she is tired, and has worked hard today, I know you are having fun, but your mother says it's time to go, so do what she is asking, now, please".
Her mother gave me a "thank you so much" look, to which I just nodded. 

Now today I fixed lunch for all of them. My 7 yr old was still hungry, and I told him if he wanted more to eat then he would have to wait until I made more. And the little girl I am watching said to him,"You are still hungry? Then TELL her to make you more."
This had me laughing, I calmly told her,"No, they do not "Tell me" to do anything, they politely ASK me. I am the adult, I tell them what to do, not the other way around. They are the child, they do not run this house, the adults do." She looked at me shocked, and said "OH" I smiled at her, and she left it alone.  At that moment I felt kind of bad for her and her mother. They are going through a rough time at home, and things are getting out of hand. The mother is trying her hardest to control the situation, but she is exhausted. I can see it everyday. And the only thing I want to do is tell her that it's okay to cry. Because she looks like she could use a good cry. She is trying her best to be the mother and father, and it's not working well. So I do what I can with her daughter to help her behave better for her mother.
 I sat down with her today, and tried to tell her that the things she does with me, like using manners, and doing what is asked of her, if she used these things with her mom it would help her mom out and make her feel better about the things she does. It would make her smile. 

I'm not sure how much she actually listened to, probably not very much, but maybe by the time she goes back to school, the way we do things in my house will rub off on her a little bit! 

Who knows though!

Update on my attack

Just an update.

     The man that attacked me has been charged with Aggravated Robbery. His sentence hasn't been given yet, so when I know more I will post. He will be in a wheel chair paralyzed from the waist down as a result of my running him over.

That being said, I want everyone to know that my family and I are doing a little better now. My two children are still waking up during naps and in the middle of the night screaming from bad dreams. I wish that there was something more that I could do for them, but when they are as young as they are, it's hard to help them. I wish that this hadn't happened to them, that they could have went through their whole lives not having to know this kind of fear. The kind that wakes you up in the middle of the night screaming and scared that something bad is going to happen. I wish I could have kept them safe from that. My 5 year old is wetting the bed pretty often now, even though he hasn't done that since he was 2. And my 2 year old is back wanting a bottle, and his stuffed monkey, and crawling into bed with me late at night after waking up screaming.

I still have anxiety while driving my van. I keep looking in my rearview mirror hoping that I am alone, even when I know I am. Even after I check my van thoroughly, inside, and under and I know I am all alone, I hear his voice and see him in my van still. My heart still races every time I go to Kroger's and drive down the street I drove down when it happened. I break out in a panic when my children get close to people I don't know. I am constantly looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is following me. I truly dread that I even have to drive the damn thing at all. But I do my best to breathe through it. I wish I could just go out and buy another van, but I can't afford it at all. I wish I could just get a different vehicle, but with 6 children, school coming up, and only one parent working, (even though I've tried to find work, even babysitting, I havn't found anything, no matter the amount of contacts I've made, or how many times I've submitted my resume to various employers for positions I know I'm qualified for) it doesn't make it easy to just go out and buy another vehicle.  I hate being in the same car that I was attacked in. I hate that my children have to be in the van where they are reminded about a man being in the van. It puts a major thorn in my spirit, and increases my stress level a whole lot.

I stress when I go to bed, I get up to check the locks on the doors at least 5 times before I am finally able to go to sleep. I get up in the middle of the night to recheck them. My husband has told me that I have been fighting in my sleep again. Something I haven't done in years. I wake up in a sweat most nights, heart racing, terrified that someone has gotten in the house. I jump at any sound in my car when I don't have my kids with me, I don't even turn the radio on anymore.

I find that I think back over that day a lot. I think of how I could have done things differentlly. I think about if I did this, or if I did that differently, what would have happened. Then I have to shake my head and tell myself that everything turned out okay, my children weren't physically harmed, they are alive, though traumatized, and they smile and laugh still.

I am continuously trying to find ways to ensure that people are aware that things like this can happen to them. I want to help people. I thought about trying to find an organization that allows people to travel and tell their story. I haven't found one yet. That requires driving to meet people and I dont like getting near my van at all. I wish I could just take the damn thing to a chop shop and have it destroyed, but I know it's not practical, plus knowing my luck they will charge me to take it. And anyways we only have the van that will fit everyone in it. Actually we only have the van, because my husbands truck is a company vehicle! So I'm stuck with the stupid thing! Oh joy! I count my blessings everyday. And I AM truly blessed. I would be even more blessed if I could get a new vehicle and get rid of the reminder of the attack. That would be one of the greatest blessings of all!

Hijacking not the worst I've suffered in my life, & telling my story could be offensive.

There is a strong possibility that if I told my whole story, that there would be quite a few people that were offended by it. By the language used, by scenes of my childhood depicted. But there is also a chance that it may be able to help someone going through something similar, that they aren't alone. That it's possible to be "normal" after having endured such things. Abuse is abuse, no matter how you try and paint it in a different light, you still see abuse. No matter the setting, the person, or the situation, abuse is still abuse. There are different types of abuse, Verbal, physical, sexual, all which in turn cause emotional damage, and are forms of emotional abuse. I've suffered them all. And I am still alive, strong and able. I can tell my story and not worry about the few that may be offended, or I can sit back silently like I have for years, wondering if in fact I was to tell my whole story if I could have helped someone. It's a hard decision to share details of your life so intimate that they could ultimately destroy you, and maybe even those you love. And there are risks involved. Things that could be told that may hurt someone else, maybe even someone I love deeply or dearly, inadvertently. I find myself asking these questions. Am I willing to take the risks? Does my husband love me enough to endure the possibility of criticism that may come from telling my story? Would my children be embarrassed by the things that I have gone through being public knowledge? Would I be able to help even 1 person by telling my story? Would it be beneficial to the people who go through the same things, or similar things to know that they aren't alone? Do the benefits of helping, out way the risks to my family?
I think if I was alone, single without children, I wouldn't worry about the risks, because I would be taking them alone, like every bad thing that ever happened to me, I would deal with it alone. But now that I have 6 children, and a common law husband, so the risks have to be accessed. They have to be analyzed. They have to be weighed. It's a hard decision, to contemplate the outcome based on the few who may be hurt or embarrassed, with the benefit of possibly helping many who are suffering similar fates. Not a decision to be taken lightly. Something I will have to think with my mind, heart, and soul. Because it would be a life changing experience, for everyone involved.
~Dorothy Baker