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Showing posts with label Husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Husband. Show all posts
Friday, November 15, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
Racism and Intolerance
Note: These are my beliefs, my thoughts, the way I feel and not to be mistaken for anyone elses. If you agree great if not that's fine too. I know I have friends who have a variety of preferences as well as religious beliefs, so if you are easily offended please DO NOT READ.
I wrote this after I read an article on how gays were intolerant, and how they were destroying the "sanctity of marriage". It pissed me off if I'm being honest! I was frustrated at how my children were treated. How I was treated because I was dating a black man, then the schools didn't honor Martin Luther Kings birthday. I had had enough. So I wrote this and sent it to the editor of the Sidney Sun, our local newspaper at the time. The editor called me and told me they wanted to publish it, it was perfect, and since Martin Luther Kings birthday was the following week it would be a great time to publish it. This article reached people from all over Nebraska, and all the way to Denver Colorado. I am very proud of this. It was longer, but they shortened it so that they could publish it in one print. So you are getting the edited version!
"Dear Editor,
I was reading the newspaper Dec. 26 and found the article called “The Gay Community is Intolerant, Too” interesting. It was well written to say the least. Kudos to the writer!! It also got me thinking about the things that I have had to go through. I am a white women married to a black man. Our children are mixed race. My family moved here for peace and quiet, but the people here make me want to move. I have never experienced more disdain, contempt and outright hatred and racism as I have here in Sidney. Now, not all of the people here are like that. There are many who have not treated us like we are beneath them, they have treated us like “ordinary people.” Then there are those who have told my daughter they don’t want to be her friend because she is not “white” enough. Six-year-old children are telling my daughter this. There are those who know my husband is black and still have the audacity to use the “N” word around my family, thinking we will be OK with it. I have been called “N” lover, and my children have been called “negrites,” – a word for those of the bi-racial background. In Sidney, where black people are few are far between, people still have the nerve to use the “N” word! People are being taught that blacks are an inferior race, one beneath whites. Here in Sidney – where there are more whites then there are any race – shouldn’t National Black History Month and Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday be celebrated just they are in the other 49 states? Martin Luther King, Jr. Day was supposed to be observed in ALL 50 states in 2006! And yet here, it is not celebrated? Just because there are few black people in Sidney does not mean they should not learn about their background. Don’t you think that white children have the right to know what their race put others races through? Don’t you think that our children need to know what their ancestors did because they thought the darker-skinned were less of a people? No matter where we go, there will be people who can’t stand that my family is of mixed ethnicity. But to come to a small town that says it prides itself on family values and then teaches its children its okay to hate black people and that it’s okay to use the “N” word is not family values at all. That is racism. However small people may think it is, it is still racism, and it still hurts. I have written that to say this: Intolerance is not just for the religious or the gay or lesbian. I am intolerant of racism. I am intolerant of ignorance. Ignorance is not bliss. It is handed down from generation to generation. It can be fixed by education, education of history – all history. Intolerance, on the other hand, is not easily overcome. It is something that we have to live with. Some people do not tolerate liars, sexual predators, thieves, or murderers just as some people don’t tolerate religious people, and some people don’t tolerate gays and lesbians. We all have something that we do not tolerate, and if your preference is the same sex, or if you prefer black men to white men – or black women to white women – or if you believe in something or not doesn’t make you right or wrong. It just makes it your preference or your opinion. It is not a standard that has to be won or lost. You cannot force someone to believe or think the way you do. You can only state your opinion and let them state theirs. If in the end you do not agree, then you agree to disagree!! When the (Dec. 26) column’s writer stated, “someone’s standard has to win,” I believe he was incorrect. Being gay or lesbian is not a standard. It is a choice for some – something they may feel they need to be. Just as being religious is a choice that you can’t force on an individual! Being gay is not contagious, nor is being religious. By being gay or religious you live by different standards, yes, but neither one has to win. The gay and lesbian community is not trying to “hijack” anything. They just want to be treated fairly, just as the African Americans did during the slave days and the civil rights movement. Just because they want to be viewed as equals and have the right to marry who they wish does not make it right or wrong!! It does not mean that they are trying to steal something sacred. Let’s be honest – about 95 percent of the people that get married end up divorced in the first five to 10 years anyway, so what would they really be “hijacking”? The fact they are able to carry the same last name for however long they are able to stand each other? Or maybe the very religious are afraid of change in their own group and don’t want to incorporate the people that don’t think, act, walk, talk, and believe like them? I just don’t think that you are hurting anyone by being religious – or by being gay or lesbian. That is a personal thing. There is just a lack of communication here! Like I said, intolerance is not something you get over. It is handed down from generation to generation, just like ignorance! Just like racism. And while your writer has his opinion on the intolerance of the gay community, these are my opinions on the article he wrote and racism in Sidney."
As you can see, I was frustrated! Although any feedback you would like to give me would be great! And try to be contructive with the criticism! :) Thanks all!
Friday, August 30, 2013
House Hunting NIGHTMARE!!!!
Well, to say this is somewhat of a disaster would be an understatement. Baytown TX has little to offer in matters of legality, and honesty when it comes to searching for a house to rent. Oh people are honest enough about the reasons they don't want to rent to you, but those reasons aren't always legal. I mean you could take them to court under the Fair Housing Act, and bring up the housing laws, but then why would you want to rent to someone who is biased about the number of children you have, or racist about the nationality and racial background of your spouse or child?
My family and I have 6 children, many who read my blog will eventually become tired of my repetition of this aspect of my life. But it is necessary to make my point. Our children are bi-racial. And I know that this was a problem back in Sidney Nebraska where we used to live, didn't think this would be a problem in the south. But apparently it is.
Not only is the racial background of my children and husband a problem, so is the amount of children we have. Legally, according to the Housing Laws a family of 8 can rent a house that has 4 bedrooms, and 2 baths, and not violate any housing laws.
But apparently no one who rents the houses we need are wanting to allow us to rent their home. We pay our rent on time, my children are decent kids, and don't tear up things. We take care of house we are currently in (despite the many maintenance problems our current landlord won't bother fixing) but we will get to that fiasco later.
Is it too much to ask to be able to rent a house, that is in good shape, has adequate insulation, nothing leaks, and has 4 beds and 2 baths? I mean hell, we'll even settle for a carport instead of a garage. We'd like a yard so our kids can play, preferably fenced, but hey if not we'll fence the yard ourselves.
But this is hard. Everyone wants to rent a huge 4 bd house to people who don't need that much room. Or to people with 1.2 kids, ya know?! Whereas, my family and I are trying to make due in a small, 3 bd house that is around 1200sqft. Not a lot of room at all. No car port, no garage, and we have a hole in our ceiling where the A/C leaks. And when I say leak, I mean I have a 2.5 gallon bucket underneath it, and I have to empty the thing 2 times a days. Not to mention the mold growing around our air vents, and not being able to use half the stove because the ceiling is falling down onto it. Don't want to be cooking and have plaster in my dinner ya know?!!
So, we've been searching for a house for going on 4 months now. We have a set price we can afford and so far everything we have looked at, I've either gotten, I rented it to someone else, or I don't want to rent to you because of how many kids you have. WTH? We are dealing with a hole in the ceiling, mold, black mold at that, and it's only a matter of time until the entire ceiling in the kitchen falls down. Our electric bill is over $500 a month for the past 3 months because of the hole, and the fact that the roof and attic aren't properly insulated.
I hate complaining. I really honestly do, but when you have mold growing on your ceiling, around the air vents in the kitchen bathroom, master closet and the wood on the attic, and a hole in the ceiling, plus massive leakage, and you have little children, you don't want to live in the house anymore. For safety and health issues. And does our landlord care? No, he came to "fix" the ceiling, and the A/C so that it wouldn't leak, and all he did was put a bigger pan next to the smaller pan in the attic to catch the leak, which didn't do a thing for the leak. He didn't patch the ceiling, but he did give us a piece of like flat insulation, that you would put I guess next to a window or a/c, to nail to the ceiling after it dried out. And that was his idea of "fixing" the problem, he said he would come back to take another look at it, but I haven't heard anything. And I haven't seen him, that was two weeks ago, and 3 days after the ceiling fell to the floor. We've been dealing with the leak for about 6 months now, and it's only gotten worse.
So we look for a house. Our credit isn't the best, so we avoid Realtors. We always pay our rent between the 1st and the 5th of each month. We take care of the yard, and try not to bother the landlord much, unless there is a serious problem. Our kids help take care of the house, they don't write on the walls, or punch holes anywhere, the blinds are a different story, but those are easy to replace. Kids are steady looking out the window, and I don't mind replacing the blinds. Almost everywhere you look you'll see those cheap plastic blinds that cost about $5 bucks, in the windows.
The only thing stopping us from being able to move are the people who are renting the houses. I've seen I know at least 20 houses. First I started with 3 bedroom houses, because all the 4 beds were out of our price range! I mean c'mon 4 bd 2 bth but only 1600sgft, and rent is $1500 a month? That's almost a dollar a square foot! Jeez! But I mention 6 kids and people scurry like roaches when the lights come on. So I said find I'll say four kids, (I hate lying, I'm not good at it at all, but we need to move, so necessary evil). Even then people scurried, although not a fast as they did when I said 6. I even called the same lady twice about one house, and changed the number of my kids, and she still said it was too many!! I mean c'mon people, they are KIDS, not freaking criminals or sex offenders. I mean you don't mind them living next to you, or renting your house, but a family, who works hard, has adequate income, not the best credit, and 6 kids you won't let rent your house?? Seriously, am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Okay, after about 7 houses turning us down because of our child ratio, we decided to finally move on to 4 bed houses. But finding one in the $900-$1200 price range.....not so easy. Trulia has houses galore, but most of the are from $1400-$3200 a month! Who can really afford $3200 a month now? Certainly not my family.
So just recently, like yesterday actually, I looked at a 4 bed 2 bath house here in Baytown. The lady who showed it to me, rushed through the house, and didn't really care to hear what I said. The rent was a great price, apparently they were professional landlords. Okay not a biggie, but when I asked her about the application process, she told me she shows the house to several people, and picks the one she likes best! What is this a popularity contest? I mean shouldn't you rent to people based on the ability to pay the rent? Or rent to the person able to give you the deposit first? So again I heard I'll make a decision this evening, and she had me write my name and number down on a paper, and when I did, I saw she has a big star next to the only other person on the paper. I figured she must have really liked this lady, so I knew then and there I wasn't going to get the house because even though she showed it to me, she didn't talk to me, ask me any valid questions to get to know the type of person I was, other then to ask how many kids I had, and I knew she had made her decision. When I didn't hear from her I gave her a call and left a message. She called me back and said that someone else rented the house. I thought okay you made your pick before I even saw the house. So I thanked her for her time and hung up. Even more disappointed then when I saw the star on that damn paper. Because I thought maybe just maybe she might pick my family to rent her house. Because we are in desperate need of a house, the price was right, but it just wasn't meant to be.
It's funny how people will say good things to you when you are in a bad situation, or try to be nice when you are feeling bad about something not going through. They always say, it wasn't meant to be, or something better will come along. And you sit there and look at them like, really? WHEN??? And how do you know? It gets irritating after hearing it for 6 months. Really irritating. As a matter of fact so does the continual disappointment of not being able to rent a house because of my family's race or the amount of children we have. So what we have 6 kids, all of whom are half black and half white? So what my husband is black and I am white? Who are you to judge us??? But that's what renting is about right? They either judge you based on the color of your skin, or the amount of children you have, or your background, or your credit score. It's all a matter of being judged, just each potential landlord has their own particular way of judging you.
I get frustrated enough to throw my hand up and say "Fk it" but I don't. I keep pushing, keep searching, keep praying that we will find a better house, a bigger house, and soon. So really what else can we do but continue, and maybe even sometimes complain?
Happy HUNTING!!!! *yeah right*
My family and I have 6 children, many who read my blog will eventually become tired of my repetition of this aspect of my life. But it is necessary to make my point. Our children are bi-racial. And I know that this was a problem back in Sidney Nebraska where we used to live, didn't think this would be a problem in the south. But apparently it is.
Not only is the racial background of my children and husband a problem, so is the amount of children we have. Legally, according to the Housing Laws a family of 8 can rent a house that has 4 bedrooms, and 2 baths, and not violate any housing laws.
But apparently no one who rents the houses we need are wanting to allow us to rent their home. We pay our rent on time, my children are decent kids, and don't tear up things. We take care of house we are currently in (despite the many maintenance problems our current landlord won't bother fixing) but we will get to that fiasco later.
Is it too much to ask to be able to rent a house, that is in good shape, has adequate insulation, nothing leaks, and has 4 beds and 2 baths? I mean hell, we'll even settle for a carport instead of a garage. We'd like a yard so our kids can play, preferably fenced, but hey if not we'll fence the yard ourselves.
But this is hard. Everyone wants to rent a huge 4 bd house to people who don't need that much room. Or to people with 1.2 kids, ya know?! Whereas, my family and I are trying to make due in a small, 3 bd house that is around 1200sqft. Not a lot of room at all. No car port, no garage, and we have a hole in our ceiling where the A/C leaks. And when I say leak, I mean I have a 2.5 gallon bucket underneath it, and I have to empty the thing 2 times a days. Not to mention the mold growing around our air vents, and not being able to use half the stove because the ceiling is falling down onto it. Don't want to be cooking and have plaster in my dinner ya know?!!
So, we've been searching for a house for going on 4 months now. We have a set price we can afford and so far everything we have looked at, I've either gotten, I rented it to someone else, or I don't want to rent to you because of how many kids you have. WTH? We are dealing with a hole in the ceiling, mold, black mold at that, and it's only a matter of time until the entire ceiling in the kitchen falls down. Our electric bill is over $500 a month for the past 3 months because of the hole, and the fact that the roof and attic aren't properly insulated.
I hate complaining. I really honestly do, but when you have mold growing on your ceiling, around the air vents in the kitchen bathroom, master closet and the wood on the attic, and a hole in the ceiling, plus massive leakage, and you have little children, you don't want to live in the house anymore. For safety and health issues. And does our landlord care? No, he came to "fix" the ceiling, and the A/C so that it wouldn't leak, and all he did was put a bigger pan next to the smaller pan in the attic to catch the leak, which didn't do a thing for the leak. He didn't patch the ceiling, but he did give us a piece of like flat insulation, that you would put I guess next to a window or a/c, to nail to the ceiling after it dried out. And that was his idea of "fixing" the problem, he said he would come back to take another look at it, but I haven't heard anything. And I haven't seen him, that was two weeks ago, and 3 days after the ceiling fell to the floor. We've been dealing with the leak for about 6 months now, and it's only gotten worse.
So we look for a house. Our credit isn't the best, so we avoid Realtors. We always pay our rent between the 1st and the 5th of each month. We take care of the yard, and try not to bother the landlord much, unless there is a serious problem. Our kids help take care of the house, they don't write on the walls, or punch holes anywhere, the blinds are a different story, but those are easy to replace. Kids are steady looking out the window, and I don't mind replacing the blinds. Almost everywhere you look you'll see those cheap plastic blinds that cost about $5 bucks, in the windows.
The only thing stopping us from being able to move are the people who are renting the houses. I've seen I know at least 20 houses. First I started with 3 bedroom houses, because all the 4 beds were out of our price range! I mean c'mon 4 bd 2 bth but only 1600sgft, and rent is $1500 a month? That's almost a dollar a square foot! Jeez! But I mention 6 kids and people scurry like roaches when the lights come on. So I said find I'll say four kids, (I hate lying, I'm not good at it at all, but we need to move, so necessary evil). Even then people scurried, although not a fast as they did when I said 6. I even called the same lady twice about one house, and changed the number of my kids, and she still said it was too many!! I mean c'mon people, they are KIDS, not freaking criminals or sex offenders. I mean you don't mind them living next to you, or renting your house, but a family, who works hard, has adequate income, not the best credit, and 6 kids you won't let rent your house?? Seriously, am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Okay, after about 7 houses turning us down because of our child ratio, we decided to finally move on to 4 bed houses. But finding one in the $900-$1200 price range.....not so easy. Trulia has houses galore, but most of the are from $1400-$3200 a month! Who can really afford $3200 a month now? Certainly not my family.
So just recently, like yesterday actually, I looked at a 4 bed 2 bath house here in Baytown. The lady who showed it to me, rushed through the house, and didn't really care to hear what I said. The rent was a great price, apparently they were professional landlords. Okay not a biggie, but when I asked her about the application process, she told me she shows the house to several people, and picks the one she likes best! What is this a popularity contest? I mean shouldn't you rent to people based on the ability to pay the rent? Or rent to the person able to give you the deposit first? So again I heard I'll make a decision this evening, and she had me write my name and number down on a paper, and when I did, I saw she has a big star next to the only other person on the paper. I figured she must have really liked this lady, so I knew then and there I wasn't going to get the house because even though she showed it to me, she didn't talk to me, ask me any valid questions to get to know the type of person I was, other then to ask how many kids I had, and I knew she had made her decision. When I didn't hear from her I gave her a call and left a message. She called me back and said that someone else rented the house. I thought okay you made your pick before I even saw the house. So I thanked her for her time and hung up. Even more disappointed then when I saw the star on that damn paper. Because I thought maybe just maybe she might pick my family to rent her house. Because we are in desperate need of a house, the price was right, but it just wasn't meant to be.
It's funny how people will say good things to you when you are in a bad situation, or try to be nice when you are feeling bad about something not going through. They always say, it wasn't meant to be, or something better will come along. And you sit there and look at them like, really? WHEN??? And how do you know? It gets irritating after hearing it for 6 months. Really irritating. As a matter of fact so does the continual disappointment of not being able to rent a house because of my family's race or the amount of children we have. So what we have 6 kids, all of whom are half black and half white? So what my husband is black and I am white? Who are you to judge us??? But that's what renting is about right? They either judge you based on the color of your skin, or the amount of children you have, or your background, or your credit score. It's all a matter of being judged, just each potential landlord has their own particular way of judging you.
I get frustrated enough to throw my hand up and say "Fk it" but I don't. I keep pushing, keep searching, keep praying that we will find a better house, a bigger house, and soon. So really what else can we do but continue, and maybe even sometimes complain?
Happy HUNTING!!!! *yeah right*
Monday, July 22, 2013
Update on my attack
Just an update.
The man that attacked me has been charged with Aggravated Robbery. His sentence hasn't been given yet, so when I know more I will post. He will be in a wheel chair paralyzed from the waist down as a result of my running him over.
That being said, I want everyone to know that my family and I are doing a little better now. My two children are still waking up during naps and in the middle of the night screaming from bad dreams. I wish that there was something more that I could do for them, but when they are as young as they are, it's hard to help them. I wish that this hadn't happened to them, that they could have went through their whole lives not having to know this kind of fear. The kind that wakes you up in the middle of the night screaming and scared that something bad is going to happen. I wish I could have kept them safe from that. My 5 year old is wetting the bed pretty often now, even though he hasn't done that since he was 2. And my 2 year old is back wanting a bottle, and his stuffed monkey, and crawling into bed with me late at night after waking up screaming.
I still have anxiety while driving my van. I keep looking in my rearview mirror hoping that I am alone, even when I know I am. Even after I check my van thoroughly, inside, and under and I know I am all alone, I hear his voice and see him in my van still. My heart still races every time I go to Kroger's and drive down the street I drove down when it happened. I break out in a panic when my children get close to people I don't know. I am constantly looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is following me. I truly dread that I even have to drive the damn thing at all. But I do my best to breathe through it. I wish I could just go out and buy another van, but I can't afford it at all. I wish I could just get a different vehicle, but with 6 children, school coming up, and only one parent working, (even though I've tried to find work, even babysitting, I havn't found anything, no matter the amount of contacts I've made, or how many times I've submitted my resume to various employers for positions I know I'm qualified for) it doesn't make it easy to just go out and buy another vehicle. I hate being in the same car that I was attacked in. I hate that my children have to be in the van where they are reminded about a man being in the van. It puts a major thorn in my spirit, and increases my stress level a whole lot.
I stress when I go to bed, I get up to check the locks on the doors at least 5 times before I am finally able to go to sleep. I get up in the middle of the night to recheck them. My husband has told me that I have been fighting in my sleep again. Something I haven't done in years. I wake up in a sweat most nights, heart racing, terrified that someone has gotten in the house. I jump at any sound in my car when I don't have my kids with me, I don't even turn the radio on anymore.
I find that I think back over that day a lot. I think of how I could have done things differentlly. I think about if I did this, or if I did that differently, what would have happened. Then I have to shake my head and tell myself that everything turned out okay, my children weren't physically harmed, they are alive, though traumatized, and they smile and laugh still.
I am continuously trying to find ways to ensure that people are aware that things like this can happen to them. I want to help people. I thought about trying to find an organization that allows people to travel and tell their story. I haven't found one yet. That requires driving to meet people and I dont like getting near my van at all. I wish I could just take the damn thing to a chop shop and have it destroyed, but I know it's not practical, plus knowing my luck they will charge me to take it. And anyways we only have the van that will fit everyone in it. Actually we only have the van, because my husbands truck is a company vehicle! So I'm stuck with the stupid thing! Oh joy! I count my blessings everyday. And I AM truly blessed. I would be even more blessed if I could get a new vehicle and get rid of the reminder of the attack. That would be one of the greatest blessings of all!
The man that attacked me has been charged with Aggravated Robbery. His sentence hasn't been given yet, so when I know more I will post. He will be in a wheel chair paralyzed from the waist down as a result of my running him over.
That being said, I want everyone to know that my family and I are doing a little better now. My two children are still waking up during naps and in the middle of the night screaming from bad dreams. I wish that there was something more that I could do for them, but when they are as young as they are, it's hard to help them. I wish that this hadn't happened to them, that they could have went through their whole lives not having to know this kind of fear. The kind that wakes you up in the middle of the night screaming and scared that something bad is going to happen. I wish I could have kept them safe from that. My 5 year old is wetting the bed pretty often now, even though he hasn't done that since he was 2. And my 2 year old is back wanting a bottle, and his stuffed monkey, and crawling into bed with me late at night after waking up screaming.
I still have anxiety while driving my van. I keep looking in my rearview mirror hoping that I am alone, even when I know I am. Even after I check my van thoroughly, inside, and under and I know I am all alone, I hear his voice and see him in my van still. My heart still races every time I go to Kroger's and drive down the street I drove down when it happened. I break out in a panic when my children get close to people I don't know. I am constantly looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is following me. I truly dread that I even have to drive the damn thing at all. But I do my best to breathe through it. I wish I could just go out and buy another van, but I can't afford it at all. I wish I could just get a different vehicle, but with 6 children, school coming up, and only one parent working, (even though I've tried to find work, even babysitting, I havn't found anything, no matter the amount of contacts I've made, or how many times I've submitted my resume to various employers for positions I know I'm qualified for) it doesn't make it easy to just go out and buy another vehicle. I hate being in the same car that I was attacked in. I hate that my children have to be in the van where they are reminded about a man being in the van. It puts a major thorn in my spirit, and increases my stress level a whole lot.
I stress when I go to bed, I get up to check the locks on the doors at least 5 times before I am finally able to go to sleep. I get up in the middle of the night to recheck them. My husband has told me that I have been fighting in my sleep again. Something I haven't done in years. I wake up in a sweat most nights, heart racing, terrified that someone has gotten in the house. I jump at any sound in my car when I don't have my kids with me, I don't even turn the radio on anymore.
I find that I think back over that day a lot. I think of how I could have done things differentlly. I think about if I did this, or if I did that differently, what would have happened. Then I have to shake my head and tell myself that everything turned out okay, my children weren't physically harmed, they are alive, though traumatized, and they smile and laugh still.
I am continuously trying to find ways to ensure that people are aware that things like this can happen to them. I want to help people. I thought about trying to find an organization that allows people to travel and tell their story. I haven't found one yet. That requires driving to meet people and I dont like getting near my van at all. I wish I could just take the damn thing to a chop shop and have it destroyed, but I know it's not practical, plus knowing my luck they will charge me to take it. And anyways we only have the van that will fit everyone in it. Actually we only have the van, because my husbands truck is a company vehicle! So I'm stuck with the stupid thing! Oh joy! I count my blessings everyday. And I AM truly blessed. I would be even more blessed if I could get a new vehicle and get rid of the reminder of the attack. That would be one of the greatest blessings of all!
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Hijacking not the worst I've suffered in my life, & telling my story could be offensive.
There is a strong possibility that if I told my whole story, that there would be quite a few people that were offended by it. By the language used, by scenes of my childhood depicted. But there is also a chance that it may be able to help someone going through something similar, that they aren't alone. That it's possible to be "normal" after having endured such things. Abuse is abuse, no matter how you try and paint it in a different light, you still see abuse. No matter the setting, the person, or the situation, abuse is still abuse. There are different types of abuse, Verbal, physical, sexual, all which in turn cause emotional damage, and are forms of emotional abuse. I've suffered them all. And I am still alive, strong and able. I can tell my story and not worry about the few that may be offended, or I can sit back silently like I have for years, wondering if in fact I was to tell my whole story if I could have helped someone. It's a hard decision to share details of your life so intimate that they could ultimately destroy you, and maybe even those you love. And there are risks involved. Things that could be told that may hurt someone else, maybe even someone I love deeply or dearly, inadvertently. I find myself asking these questions. Am I willing to take the risks? Does my husband love me enough to endure the possibility of criticism that may come from telling my story? Would my children be embarrassed by the things that I have gone through being public knowledge? Would I be able to help even 1 person by telling my story? Would it be beneficial to the people who go through the same things, or similar things to know that they aren't alone? Do the benefits of helping, out way the risks to my family?
I think if I was alone, single without children, I wouldn't worry about the risks, because I would be taking them alone, like every bad thing that ever happened to me, I would deal with it alone. But now that I have 6 children, and a common law husband, so the risks have to be accessed. They have to be analyzed. They have to be weighed. It's a hard decision, to contemplate the outcome based on the few who may be hurt or embarrassed, with the benefit of possibly helping many who are suffering similar fates. Not a decision to be taken lightly. Something I will have to think with my mind, heart, and soul. Because it would be a life changing experience, for everyone involved.
~Dorothy Baker
I think if I was alone, single without children, I wouldn't worry about the risks, because I would be taking them alone, like every bad thing that ever happened to me, I would deal with it alone. But now that I have 6 children, and a common law husband, so the risks have to be accessed. They have to be analyzed. They have to be weighed. It's a hard decision, to contemplate the outcome based on the few who may be hurt or embarrassed, with the benefit of possibly helping many who are suffering similar fates. Not a decision to be taken lightly. Something I will have to think with my mind, heart, and soul. Because it would be a life changing experience, for everyone involved.
~Dorothy Baker
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